A-sexy: E is for Eureka
I have two types of eureka moments. Those that are in the bath and those that are in the sun. As I sit here in my garden fighting with some pretty aggressive unBritish ants I’m having one of those moments.
He’s a lovely guy but he’s not for me. Yes I’ve been saying this to myself since Saturday when I had a dream in which he couldn’t physically lift or carry me. This may have been a guilty chocolate dream as I did have two Twix that day but no, I know that my subconscience was telling me that he will never ever be able to be there for me. You know that footprints in the sand photograph of old, well I would have to be the one carrying him and I don’t see that happening.
Then it came to me. Dating Recessions are a dangerous, dangerous thing because suddenly I think that someone who has a careless disregard for what I want may be an option? I think someone who takes ages to remember I exist is someone I can spend a lifetime with? What is wrong with me! I’m bored enough to seek distractions from men who see me as a distraction. My mistake is trying to turn every idea into a potential business. I must stop investing my own money.
So I’m grateful for this day out in the sun in which I realised that this dating recession has led me to some dark places and none darker than the crush that flirts with you when it suits them but is quick to point out that he can’t offer you more than sex when he’s horny
Yes I’m feeling bitter, get over it. I am. Because he just used me better than I did him.
Now, back to the ants.
© Chelsea Black
