E is for effortless
So sometimes I get asked how do you know when it’s right and I say that there are a number of signs. Your inner voice stops telling you to grab your purse and run. You don’t worry about it ending and ….it’s effortless. I have never had a relationship that worked where it needed too much work at the beginning. There were no anxieties about whether or not he was going to call or if you were texting too much. In fact he finds your tipsy texting endearing. There was no need for me to persuade him that he liked me and that I was worthy of being his girlfriend. It just was.
I think we have been deluded that relationships are hard work. Yes relationships can be but surely these should be external factors and not basics such as communication and chemistry. I think however that when dating it shouldn’t be hard. It’s hard to be honest and open at this stage because it is understood that at THIS stage there is no real commitment. And so you should just be enjoying yourself and not having to suffer the angst of ever wondering what is going on.
Don’t get it twisted sex may be something you have to work on as some people have picked up some incredibly bad habits along the way and may need to be tailor made to your specifications but dating? Nah
Of course I expect that effort will be put into the dates themselves so you don’t get off scott free but not that calls and dinners are awkward and painful. I love the effort one puts into a date they are looking forward to. But the end result- effortless. It didn’t seem like work as I was happy to do it.
So raise your glass to effortless dating.
© Chelsea Black
