Dating is a glorious activity but, like all fairy tales with quests there are villains. So recently the question of gold diggers has come up: The Male gold digger.
They exist! Remember Mel B’s ex? Not Stephen Belafonte the other one? No, the other one! Jimmy G the Dutch dancer? And the indomnitable ex of Britney Spears? Kevin F redefined the smash and grab male gold digger. Yes they’re both dancers but, if I’m honest I don’t think it’s related to a whole career. Maybe just a side hustle which becomes profitable. Like selling online (not).
No my precious, the average dater has to contend with a more mediocre type of digger. But, diggers they are. The dating digger. There are varying levels of digger but essentially these are men who date for financial or social gain. Not so much the rinsing of online women, no, these ones are interviewing for a Sweetner Mummy to help them through to the next level of life. These men aren’t ready to adult and are happy to prey on women who may not have that much themselves. Be careful. I’ll take you through the obvious ones:
You go out on a date and he doesn’t put his hand in his pocket when the bill comes? Dude ate up a storm though and was even deliberating between 2 starters and desserts because, this may be his last decent meal this week. Dude was all about, ‘Shall we order another bottle of the Italian red? It does go well with Wagyu beef.’ This guy dates to live. If you find yourself playing the bill stare off game then, best you just pay the bill, grab your purse and run. He’s too pathetic even to date. This man is not for you. He’ll claim poverty or past hurt which isn’t your issue to manage. A new trick is for guys to throw in £30 after they ascertain you’re paying by card when the bill is clearly over £100. That’s gonna be a selfish lover. Move on
Forgets his wallet, doesn’t ever pay for anything but is happy to suggest a trip away, hotels, plays he wants to go to, seminars he has to go to to make it to the next level. This is basically a professional student looking for a bursary and mentor. A patron if you will. The implication being that he would like to adult but doesn’t quite know how to fund it. Dude is 43. He has a job. His lifestyle is not your financial responsibility. Jump off this one fast.
Too any questions about your living situation are the red flags. Who you live with, if you own or rent, how much you’re paying, how many bedrooms etc. It’s interview 101 and you may think it’s because he wants to shag (there’s a possibility that this is an access question because he lives with a wife or parents, true) but to be honest you need to work out if you ever saw yourself moving your clothes out of your spare room so that you can move him and his comic and trainers collection in?
If you’re happy being dug and this is how you get your relationship high then fine but, let’s just accept that the dating recession has led to a lot of diggers out there looking to milk. You’re not a cow.
© Chelsea Black 2017