Dating Dos and Don’ts After Divorce
Congratulations! You survived the emotional equivalent of being run over by a bus — a divorce. Now that the paperwork is signed you’re considering dipping your toe back into the dating pool. And Dating December is always a tricky time now that you have to renegotiate family time. But before you cannonball in, let’s talk strategy. Here’s your ultimate guide to dating dos and don’ts post-divorce:
DO: Give Yourself Time to Heal
Listen, there’s no medal for who moves on fastest. Take the time to grieve, process, and maybe even laugh about the absurdity of your ex’s obsession with decorative spoons. Rushing in too soon is a recipe for heartbreak soup, and we’re aiming for champagne cocktails here. There are way too many rebound marriages out there because someone can’t bear to be alone. A guy I recently met has been divorced for 6 years. He says he’s finally ready to date again. I was dating during the divorce. We are all different!
DON’T: Compare Everyone to Your Ex
Yes, your ex hated Nandos, but that doesn’t mean your next date is secretly plotting to steal your chips. Comparing your date to your former partner is not only unfair but also exhausting. Keep the past in the past where it belongs — buried under a mountain of self-care. They’re going to make a WHOLE NEW LOT of annoyances. Trust.
DO: Be Honest About Your Intentions
Whether you’re looking for a passionate fling, a Netflix-and-chill partner, or the next love of your life, make it known. Post-divorce dating is not the time for games unless it’s a cheeky round of truth or dare. Honesty saves time and tears. The problem is that a lot of people don’t know how to lightly date so sometimes their actions don’t match their words. If you want to keep it light then don’t give them wife / husband level treatment.
DON’T: Overshare Too Soon
Your date doesn’t need to know about the time your ex gave you an STD during the first drink. And maybe don’t over drink either especially if you are an over sharer / crier when drunk. Keep it light, keep it fun. There’s a fine line between being open and turning the evening into a therapy session. Or being sloppy drunk.
DO: Rediscover What You Love
Dating post-divorce is the perfect time to focus on YOU. Try bachata dancing, take a language class, or spend a ridiculous amount of money on that spa weekend. The better you feel about yourself, the better energy you’ll bring to your dates.
DON’T: Settle for Less Than You Deserve
You’ve been through the wringer; don’t waste time on someone who’s emotionally unavailable or treats you like an afterthought. Be bold, be fabulous, and don’t apologize for wanting the full package.
DO: Embrace the Fun of Firsts
First dates, first kisses, first flirty texts — all of it. Lean into the excitement of new beginnings and remember that not every date needs to lead to forever. Sometimes, a cheeky coffee date is just that.
DON’T: Forget to Protect Your Heart
While it’s great to be open to love, keep a bit of caution in your back pocket. Trust takes time, so don’t hand over the keys to your kingdom too quickly. Let them earn your trust (and maybe your password to Netflix).
DO: Celebrate Your Resilience
You’ve weathered the storm, and now it’s time to shine. Dating after divorce isn’t just about finding someone new; it’s about rediscovering your power, your joy, and your spark. Go out there and own it. You’ve got this.
Remember, dating after divorce is a journey, not a sprint. And whether it ends with a happily-ever-after or just a cheeky story for brunch, every step is a win. Now, put on your sassiest outfit and get back out there. The world is waiting!
© Chelsea Black ® 2024
