The Cost of Living Dating Crisis is here and one needs to not only identify the impact but mitigate the risks. I’m sure most of you are ready for most of the changes that will come and have a recession busting plan in place. But have you thought about what may be one of your most expensive pastimes, dating? If not here’s a quickie guide!
· Hobosexuality
If you are already dating someone then this is an ideal time to talk about the potential for living together and saving on bills. That’s different but hobosexuals are love bombers who scurry in faster than cockroaches.
Hobosexuals have been outlined in previous blogs but we know socio-economically this will increase. Mainly menz who are not encumbered by a mortgage are high risk. Look for menz who are one of the following:
- Moved back in with the parental(s) whilst savings for a deposit (spoiler alert: if he’s in Zones 1-2 London this will never ever be a solution) ;
- house sharing with more than one other person and have a room;
- Just living at home because it’s a sweet deal
- Still living with the ex in a stressful situation
- A couch surfer (they tend to call themselves entrepreneurs or artists)
- In the family home with the wife and kids because, finances. So he’s broke with dependents.
Don’t believe that they will help you with the bills and housework. Whilst you may see some contribution during their probationary period this soon disappears.
The problem with the hobosexual is that they are targeted, move very quickly but will not move out without some sort of settlement on your part. This is typically a deposit of some kind. Again, Prime Central London ladies, I beg you think this through. Will he ever want to lose that ‘free’ Westminster residents parking permit? I’m thinking not!!!
· Bed and Breakfast
People are going to start thinking that thy can sleep over in your heated home and eat your food. Why they want to sweat on your sheets instead of their own may be linked to how heated their house will be post October. I’m not doing sleep overs without a signed affidavit that there is an electric blanket and sufficient duvet tog to keep me toasty throughout the night.A ‘ two pumps and done’ isn’t the one and isn’t going to keep anyone warm.
And breakfast expectations? I had to nip this habit in the bud last decade especially as hipsta diets were getting more and more ridiculous. Yes I do have oat milk but no vegan grated cheese for your scrambled eggs, sorry. No, it’s definitely real meat. Oh you’re a part time Muslim as in you drink alcohol but don’t eat pork? Sorry, these sausages aren’t halal. And they’re pork.
The simple rule is that if people insist on staying over there will be a restaurant based breakfast in our future. Or let them go home by uber or night bus.
· Food freeloaders
This is predominantly women. Many women go out on dates just for the food. They assume that the date is going to pay for it and often choose the pricier places. I heard of a woman, a journalist, who insisted a man took her to OXO Tower on the 2nd or 3rd date. That date never materialised. He was on less than £50K at the time and didn’t have 2 people at OXO tower money which was about £200 at the time (alcohol not included)
Menz, if you are a traditionalist and believe that you should pay for dates, cool but know that restaurants are going to hike their prices up now to cover that gas bill. You are not only going to have to take her to ridiculous places but pay ridiculous prices.
Mitigation is simple. You choose the location and therefore stay within your budget OR be clear that you will be going Dutch. Don’t do that thing of waiting until the end of the date to declare that you will be paying because you had a good date or think you have a chance of getting a leg over. Now is the time for intention and transparency in advance. Stick to drinks for early dates and hope she’s not a big drinker.
· Winter Fashion
I don’t know how to look cute in winter but for those of you who will be dating out and about, remember venues will be colder. There will be less body heat AND venues will be stingy with the thermostat. So grab those small blankets and pashminas. This is not the time to be proud and shivering. Stay warm!
· Escape Room
A scary part of the cost of living crisis is that more and more people will not be able to escape abusive situations. We saw how the increase in Domestic Abuse during the pandemic disproportionately affected women and children. So, it sounds obvious but always, always have some single, escape room money just for you. Not everything needs to be in a joint account and you don’t want to be stuck with someone abusive and potentially life threatening because you can’t afford to move out.
· So how to prepare for the Dating Crisis?
Budget
It’s ok to say that dating is important to you but that there is a limit to how much you’re willing to spend on ubers, meals, tickets etc. Set a realistic monthly budget and don’t expect to factor in clothes and salon visits. If you’re spending less than £500 a month then you’re truly winning!
Qualify Dates
Now that you have that a clear budget maybe it’s best to ask certain questions predate to avoid the time wasters and potential opportunists. Flip the script and ask them who they live with and why. Ask if it’s going Dutch date so you know that you have to choose somewhere in your budget. It sounds obvious but so many go into these situations blind and anxious about the bill at the end.
De-prioritise dating
It’s ok to say that for a while dating is not a priority for you. It’s a great time to take a detox break from the Fuckeries that can be the liars and cheats on apps.
Here’s hoping that we all survive the cost of living dating crisis and get a winter warmer soon!
© Chelsea Black® 2022
