So day 2 of being at home all day and already the cabin fever has set in. I’m entertaining but there’s only so many times I can make myself laugh at Covid joked online. I have a REALLY high threshold. Plus I need to get away from my new best friend which is the snack cupboard. This is the most toxic relationship we’ve ever had and we’ve been together through 12 Christmases and 6 birthday party left overs. I need to break up with him.  

I decide to take a walk and head toward the park listening to my music. Finally no more emails and calls about where to find hand sanitiser and gloves. I’m dreaming about the joys of just watching joggers do their thing. I’m also thinking about what to tackle next in the snack cupboard but, I have very little else to occupy my mind at this time?

Then all of a sudden a guy scooters past with a full terrorist balaclava on and hollers at me. He stops. I stop and do the coronavus ‘Stay Back’ position and growl. He pulls down the balaclava and hollers again because apparently my stopping a safe distance away from him isn’t enough of a clue that I don’t want to engage. How are you trying to chirps though Bruv when we’re in the midst of a pandemic? And on a fucking pavement scooter!

I’m shocked by the brazenness of it all. Does he actually think people are out here for his chirpsing right now? Has this ever worked for anyone ever? Please advise.

So this brief blog is a shout out to all of the street harassers who are out there living their truth and making sure their needs are met on the daily. We salute your persistence in these bleak times when all we want to do is get away from the madness and relax. Fuckwits.

© Chelsea Black 2020   

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