Blink and you’ll miss

A is for arrogance part 2

Just need to clarify that arrogance to me isn’t entirely negative. It’s a cocky confidence but not bordering on the boastful. But some see it as a negative trait. Kind of like lazy. I see lazy as having the ability to make time to do nothing but rest. I don’t confuse arrogance with those that brag about stuff they MUST know they aren’t particularly good at.

I blame the Porche

Back to Mr Arrogant and enter number 2 who I met after a concert in Brixton. I guess there were clues that we weren’t going to get on. He wore a t shirt tighter than mine and his muscles suggested more time spent in the gym than is legal for someone who has a job. He was an estate agent apparently. I’ve never met an estate agent that I was able to like. But, it was a slow night and a heady combination of boredom and Bacardi made me benevolent.  He was unusually sexually forward and I took the bait. No man could be this cocky without having the cock to back it up, surely.

He had a sports car. Nothing says penis substitute like a Porsche.  He offered me and my friend a lift home.  There was an awkward moment where it appeared that he was suggesting she stay over. I’m not sure if this was to conserve petrol or for a potential 3sum. Surely he couldn’t think he could handle both of us? My anticipation rose.

We got back to mine and straight down to business. I didn’t even offer him a drink. Just sunk to my knees and er, examined that bulge a little more closely. A few minutes later it was over and I stood up. I was still fully dressed. OK, clearly the anticipation had gotten to him. I waited for some word to suggest that this was not the norm. Nothing? So I suggested we get into bed.

Round 2

Round 2 and again we didn’t actually get to the point of penetration. The only good thing is that this guy had a good recovery rate. The bad thing was this was a Friday night and I couldn’t use my early work excuse. Clearly he was a morning sex person I thought and went to sleep.

Morning Glory?

I woke up to him poking me. Eh up, things were starting to get interesting! Turns out he was going to try it unprotected?  Flailing wildy I indicated that condoms were within an arm’s reach. He looked disappointed but acquiesced. 3 minutes later we were done and he mumbled something about condoms making him come quicker? Whilst he snoozed I struggled to get back to sleep. Not impressed we tried once more the morning after and still nothing that I could call adequate. By this time I wasn’t even hiding my look of dismay after all of his talk of things he was going to do to me back in the club.

Adios to Arrogance

When he left we did the usual “Call you later,” but, I never heard from him again. For all his arrogant swagger he knew that his performance wasn’t up to scratch. 4 attempts at hitting the pinata and he failed all 4 times?

That man was all talk and gym walk but no action. Full of hot air which left me deflated. I hope someone lets the tires out of his tires.

© Chelsea Black A-Sexy

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