The Black Woman Effect has come to social media and it’s horrible. As far as new trends go this one is giving ridiculous amounts of obtuseness. Like Black Girl Magic it’s over reaching. Suddenly, we’ve got average white men waxing poetic about how dating or marrying a Black woman has “transformed” their lives. Sounds familiar? And here’s the thing: All The Black Woman Effect does is enable male mediocrity and we’ve all had enough. You know what? I blame Shonda Rhimes.
Why Shonda is partly responsible.
Shonda has spent years on TV glorifying these interracial pairings, from Scandal’s intense Olivia-Pope-making-Fitz-better dynamic to Bridgerton’s race-blind love stories. Seriously, Shonda, can we get a break? Because this endless narrative is exhausting and once again positioning Black Women as a monolith. Yes it’s great we’ve moved away from the ‘Angry Black Woman’ trope but now we’ve got to be superwoman? And every time it’s about Black Women saving the men from themselves and their mediocrity. Nobody cares about the emotional labour carried out by these woman and how this effects their mental and emotional well being. Who saves the Black Woman? It reminds me of this meme
Why the Black Woman Effect sucks
The Black Woman Effect as a concept and trend sucks: it’s a badge of honor for men, as if Black women are magical creatures that exist solely to elevate them. Black Women are indeed powerful, dynamic, and downright fabulous but, we exist for more than to fix or upgrade anyone else.
What these men often fail to recognize is the emotional labor and cultural weight Black women carry in these relationships. We’re not here to be your personal development program. ‘My spouse is my life coach / mom/ saviour’ as a concept is really dated and boring. We’re not here to “fix” you or make you great. Black Women have their own choices and dreams. Also we’re here to live our lives, love ourselves, and yes, sometimes that includes loving you but not at the expense of our own well-being.
So, next time you hear about the Black Woman Effect, remember: it’s not a trend. It’s our lives and we’re not here to be anyone’s saving grace. Let’s be real, the narrative is old, tired and boring. And maybe, just maybe, Shonda could give us a break, too. (Shout out to all of my Bridgerton fans! I beg, don’t have a go at me because I read the books years ago so I don’t have to watch the show anymore :P)
© Chelsea Black ® 2024
