Dude: Miss Chelsea….good morning
CB: Morning
Dude: How are ya my dear lady?
CB: All is well. You?
Dude: I’m well, giving thanks
CB: Awww good for you
Dude: So…what are you up to today?
CB: Brunch with a friend who has a kid now. Not seen him in ages
Dude: Sounds like fun….has his kid got you feeling broody now?
CB: I’ve been broody since 2005
Dude: What are you waiting for?
CB: The right dad
Dude: I’m sure you have many a potential suitor
CB: Potential being the operative word
Dude: Lol
Well…I’m throwing my hat in the ring should that eventually ever come about…I’m going to be a god-father lol
CB: You’re going to be a god father? Cute
Dude: Yep….I’ve decided lol
CB: Awwww you best get more daughters
Dude: Moi? Gonna give me some? Lol
CB: You couldn’t cope with me as a baby mother
Dude: Tell me more lol
CB: You know me well enough to know
Dude: Not well enough
CB: Funny, both you and NYE Mistake got in touch within 24 hours. Weird
Dude: Really???? Interesting. Lol
Dude: And is he offering to impregnate you? Lol
CB: I bloody hope not
Dude: ROTFL. He’s a handsome bro. Looks like he would make handsome babies
CB: He’s not handsome but ok
Dude: Lol. So are you dating?
CB: I’m always dating
Dude: Nice
CB: What about you? You were seeing some woman I recall before you went home?
Dude: That was ages ago. Been single about a year. Every so often I’ll go for a meal with someone
CB: Fair enough. Good to keep the skills up
Dude: They are very rusty. ..I need more practice
CB: I’m sure you’re fine. You’ve had years to finesse
Dude: Can you help a brother?
CB: You don’t need help dear. You probably know more people than I do
NEXT DAY
Dude : Enjoy your meetup with your friend? ROTFL
CB: The one with the baby? Yes she was totally delicious.
Dude: This has been a very quiet year
CB: Yes we’ve all struggled
Dude: I think we ought to have some drinks
CB: I’m sure you’ll be back strong and hard in 2014
Dude: When shall we meet up?
CB: what for ?I’m not out of practice!
Dude: Lol
- Today
Dude: I still think we should practice lol
CB: You’re a joker.I’m sure you can find plenty of willing women to practice with.
Dude: Anyway. .wanna practice with you so I can be super-duper lol
Side convie about a friend.
Dude: Great. So…how was your weekend?
CB: It was ok. A lot of blasts from the pasts
Dude: Is that a good thing?
CB: You men, winter approaches and suddenly you are all nostalgic or something. No, not really. They are past for a reason. Moving forward only. Never back
Dude: ROtFl…..I’d been meaning to say howdy for a long time but just never got round to it as it had been a while since we last spoke….
Caught up with lots of people I hadn’t spoken to in a while the other day and thought I’d reach out to you also
CB: right….
Dude: You sound so cynical
CB: I’m a cynic, yes
Dude: As though all of us brothers had a conference call and decided we’d all contact you lol
CB: I’m wary when people pop up out of the blue especially at the same time as their friends.
Exactly! I’m sure there is a bet or something sinister in there somewhere. Bad rom com fodder
Dude: I’ve not spoken to NYE Mistake since shortly after your party
CB: hmmmm I guess it’s the energy in the universe then
Dude: Must be…
CB: hmmmmm. There have been 5 this week alone. I’ don’t know
Dude: I tend to do this on a regular basis and normally around this time…as I reflect on life, friends and things that have happened during the year
CB: It has been nearly 2 years….I guess that’s good going
Dude: I’ve caught up with a number of friends I haven’t spoken to in up to 5 years. I become very reflective towards the end of each year
CB: Yes and winter makes people think about warmer times maybe?
Dude: Nah not me….my home is warm all year round lol
CB: hmmmmmm.
I post about needing to lose weight
Dude. You didn’t look like you need to lose any the last time I saw you….you looked simply amazing
CB: It has been 2 years dear
Dude: No….saw you at an event earlier this year
CB: ah yes.
Dude: Maybe we need to be settled huh?
CB: I don’t think it’s that. It’s been a torrid 18 months. Stress is the key
Dude: Maybe I need a wife…and less stress lol
CB: a wife is less stress? that’s a new one
Dude: No…I think the two are mutually exclusive lol. A wife who lives in her own home and I live in my and we connect for conjugal relations ….and dinner lol
CB: I see. Good luck with that one. London property prices? hmmmm
Dude: Who says I’m paying to keep her…having access to me will be enough recompense for the interesting communal configuration lol
CB: lol – I see
Dude: Are you ready to settle down and have children?
CB: I told you, I’ve been ready for years. I’m just waiting for the right person to do it all with
Dude: What are you looking for?
CB: I don’t want to be prescriptive. I just know when the energy is near. The problem is circumstances
Dude: Yours or theirs?
CB: theirs
Dude: Interesting
CB: I’m not willing to take risks on potential anymore
Dude: And you’ve not met anyone ‘settled’ in the rarified circles you move in??
CB: No. Most are still at the embryonic stages. It’s like start ups and the stage we are at. I’m not a start-up, I’m changing direction. No point me being with someone still deciding between a ltd company and a sole trader set up
Dude: Well life has a way of literally overnight causing the most ‘settled’ to have to restart….this is effectively my 3rd start in the last 20 years
CB: But starting isn’t the problem with experience
Dude: Lol….ltd and sole trader. That’s hilarious
CB: I’m talking about those with no entrepreneurial experience to date
Dude: Oh ok…thought you meant someone reconfiguring
CB: I can get with someone reconfiguring as there is a plan there. I can’t get with someone who has never moved out of home or has a good idea but no idea of how they will implement it. Life is too short for that hence not dating potential
Dude: I hear that totally. I was musing on relationships and what I’m looking for….and I finally realised I want a composite of a number of people
CB: go on …
Dude: Keep meeting people with elements of what I like/want but not enough of one thing in particular to keep me interested long enough
For example, will meet someone very attractive…but…err hmmm…not intellectually stimulating for me
CB: hahahaha. I hear you. Hard to get a balance. Something has to give
Dude: Or someone intellectually stimulating but who doesn’t want children or to ever leave the UK lol
CB: I think as long as they know how to love and have plans for themselves and a relationship they should be fine
Dude: I’m so ready for an adventure…with the right woman. I want to live a life worth remembering. One worthy of who I/we are as humans
CB: Well it’s good to be ready. You’ll start attracting the right sort now
Dude: I am so ready to create an amazing experience….journey with the right person….and create lovely babies lol
CB: Maybe we have to be honest and say we weren’t ready before
Dude: I been attracting some crazy bitches over the last 10 years….did I tell you I was stalked for about a year lol
CB: You did mention it I think. Yeah there is crazy out there
Dude: Lol. I don’t want any more crazies. Just wanna meet Mama Afrika
CB: lol. I’m sure you will. You’ve put it out there
Dude: Amen….from my mouth to God’s ears
Dude: I’ve always thought you very charming, witty, attractive and very slightly eccentric….I like that
CB: lol at eccentric. thank you
Dude: Eccentric is lovely…as in uncommon
CB: Well everyone is eccentric to a degree I suppose
Dude: Indeed lol. You’re just what I’m looking for . i think lol
CB: You’re funny.
Dude: Lol
CB: 2 years is a long time. You don’t remember me clearly
Dude: Clearly ROtFl
CB: I’m going to have to blog about this. You guys are hilarious at times
Dude: ROTFL. You women bring the best out of us lol
CB: well I appreciate the sentiment even if it’s misplaced
Dude: Misplaced? Never lol
CB: Yes, you misplaced it for 2 years
Dude: Nah – I honestly thought you and NYE Mistake were close and so thought I’d step back….then met someone and ….well…focused on work and now….want babies and I think you would make lovely babes lol
CB: HAHAHAHA
Dude: ROTFL
CB: NYE mistake and I? We were sex. that’s it. Once!
Dude: Oh ok – thought it was much more than that
CB: Come on dude. I’m not the one. But I’m flattered
From whose side? NYE mistake needs to learn to tell the truth before he can be with anyone. besides it’s clear from my fb that I’m quite single
Dude: well I only ever saw you and him for that matter that once…there was chemistry and the last time I saw him…the brother was whispering sweet nuffinks in your ear as I was making my excuses and leaving ya’ll together. he looked as though he was in love with you lol
CB: No. It was lust. I was the last woman in the room
Dude: I thought it was lurve lol
CB: Joker. no
Dude: so you should have told me…i would have run him and i would have stayed for breakfast lol
CB: you shouldn’t have made assumptions based on so little. You should have asked. You never did. Hence I don’t believe you now
Dude: I don’t ordinarily make assumptions…I’m normally very direct but…in that one instance i assumed you and dear NYE Mistake were closer than close.
