A Diva is Cast!

A-Sexy: C is for cast

So there was one year when my leg was in a cast. A sad football related injury (no 13 from the opposing team, know that if we ever, ever meet again I will evoke all the wrath of the ancestors on your vicious being) meant that I have fractured my ankle, couldn’t play for the Province and had nothing to do 4 times a week whilst everyone else was in training and matches.

After a lovely week in the hospital (hospitals, a great time to see who your real friends are aka the ones that visit, bring flowers and smuggle in the Nandos, chocolates and KFC). So this left me with 3 months of….boredom. It took me ages to get around and I got into a terrible habit of hitchhiking to parties and stuff. You can’t keep a good girl down for long I guess. I was the first one on the dance floor with crutches stumbling through the grease medley. (Those, Summer……NI-GHTS!)

The funny thing was whilst I assumed having this ugly cast on my leg would be a hindrance to my dating pursuits it actually had the opposite effect. Men were all over it. Apparently it made me look more vulnerable. Men, something tells me that some of them thrive on being needed and us appearing weaker. Go figure.

But then came the sex….would I be able to with a cast up to my knee on one leg? I pride myself on being flexible so this was a challenge. But the answer was yes, I could.  And I loved it because it restricted me from positions I didn’t like that much anyway like squatting on top. If ever I got bored of a position I would claim my leg was in pain and sink back onto my back, prop my legs on his shoulders and let him do the work. And hence a lazy diva I became.

There was one guy who thought that every time he touched my cast I would feel pain. And so he treated me like a delicate flower.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I felt nothing as I’d convinced the doctors that me without painkillers was not something they wanted to see and they’d given me a healthy over supply of them. Mixed with alcohol (don’t try this at home kids) I don’t remember much about those 3 months.

But the lesson is this, even when you are slightly indisposed you can make the best of a bad situation. Never have so many men been so willing to help me as in those 3 months. The magic of the cast disappeared the moment it came off and I was bouncing around again. So if there is something that makes you a little vulnerable my precious I guess, use it!

Of course there was the guy who saw it as an opportunity to take advantage and tried the old put it in “just for a little bit” line on me. But whilst my cast leg was weak my right leg still had the power. His ribs felt my No when his ears clearly couldn’t hear it and he had to go to hospital that week too. Shame, he could have given me a lift!

Happy cast day!

© Chelsea Black

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