Welcome to the 40s Fuckit List. A bucketlist for all of the things you need to fuck and then let go of as you navigate your 40s
The Fuck-It List for Dating in Your 40s
Ah, your 40s. The decade where your tolerance for nonsense plummets faster than your metabolism after 30. And honestly? Thank goodness for that. It’s time to own your power, relish your freedom, and curate your life—and love life—like a Spotify playlist: strictly bangers, no fillers.
Here’s your official Fuck-It List for dating in your 40s. Think of it as your guide to letting go of what no longer serves you while fully embracing what you actually want. Because life’s too short for mediocre love and the wrong people in your DMs.
1. Fuck Fuckbois
We’re too old for this. If he’s over 35 and still playing games, it’s a no from me. No, I don’t want to “chill” indefinitely while you figure out if I’m worth basic respect. Swipe left on the late-night “wyd” texts and ghosters who reappear like seasonal allergies. Your 40s are a time for connection, not confusion. If he’s not meeting your energy, he can keep it moving.
2. Fuck Hobosexuals
This one’s for the ladies who’ve ever had a man try to move into their flat faster than Amazon Prime delivers. A hobosexual is the guy who’s romantically interested only as long as you’ve got a warm bed and a stocked fridge. If his idea of a romantic gesture is helping himself to your WiFi password, it’s time to unplug the relationship. Secure the bag, sis, but make sure he’s got his own.
3. Fuck Settling
By now, you’ve lived enough life to know what you want and what you absolutely don’t. You’re not here to settle for someone who’s “good enough” because your auntie keeps asking why you’re still single. Whether it’s chemistry, ambition, or shared values, don’t compromise on your non-negotiables. Remember, you’re the prize, not a consolation.
4. Fuck Chasing
You are not a contestant on The Amazing Race: Relationship Edition. If they’re not reciprocating your energy, it’s not your job to convince them of your worth. In your 40s, the mantra is simple: if they want to, they will. And if they don’t? Block, delete, and pour yourself a glass of something expensive.
5. Fuck Ignoring Red Flags
Remember in your 20s when you thought you could fix a man? Yeah, how did that work out? Red flags don’t fade over time; they turn into giant, flashing billboards. Whether it’s poor communication, emotional unavailability, or suspiciously frequent “work trips,” trust your gut and keep it pushing.
6. Fuck Timelines
Marriage by 30? Kids by 35? The world’s timelines are not your timelines. You’re not late; you’re on your own divine schedule. Whether you’re dating for fun, companionship, or something long-term, own your path unapologetically. Society’s expectations can take several seats.
7. Fuck the “Strong Black Woman” Narrative
This one’s specifically for my Black queens. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders in every relationship. Let go of the pressure to overperform, overgive, or overlook. You’re allowed to be soft, vulnerable, and cared for. If they’re not bringing peace to your life, they don’t deserve a place in it.
8. Fuck Pretending
In your 40s, the mask comes off. You’re done pretending to like sushi or watching football just to impress someone. Be your authentic, glorious self. Love dancehall? Blast it. Prefer a night in with Netflix over a crowded bar? Own it. The right person will adore you for you, quirks and all.
9. Fuck FOMO
You’re not missing out by staying single or walking away from the wrong person. What you’re gaining is peace, clarity, and the freedom to focus on what truly matters. Your 40s are for quality over quantity, in every sense.
10. Fuck What You Want to Fuck
And finally, let’s talk about pleasure. This is your decade to reclaim your desires. Whether you’re exploring new experiences, rediscovering old ones, or just indulging in whatever makes you happy, it’s your time to shine. No shame, no judgment—just you living your best life.
Final Thoughts
Your 40s are your power years. They’re the years where you say, “No thank you,” to drama, and “Yes, please,” to joy. So go forth, my fabulous, fearless queens. Make your Fuck-It List and stick to it. Because when you know your worth, you’ll never settle for less than what you deserve.
Hope you make and enjoy your own 40s fuckit list.
© Chelsea Black ® 2025
