The date escaped me yesterday but it was indeed the 14th and therefore only one whole month before the pressure of Valentine’s day. I know I’ve had some absolute disasters my precious but I’m an eternal optimistic. So this year, I’ve decided to make a plan. Surely getting a guy to take you out to dinner isn’t the most demanding thing ever is it? Let me know if you have any sure fire solutions but I think we can all agree that it’s better to start now, no?
1) Delve into the archives. One option is to go back and revisit some of the relationships that didn’t work. I do this and then always regret it. Yes they are easy to talk to and sleep with because we’ve been here before. The exes come back and I think, maybe this time he HAS changed. He hasn’t. And as I learned from Robert (Vanessa Huxtable’s ex) in the Cosby show, a ship that sails backwards never sees the sunset. When you’re tempted to slip back into dating an ex ask yourself this….do you really want to spend your V day at Nandos or hear about how expensive the cinema is? My answer is no hence why 1 isn’t for me. But if you have an ex who simply moved away for a while get in contact no. Don’t wait for the week of Valentine’s day to rekindle.
2) Ask couples to double date to hook you up Tricky as most couples want to spend it together doing whatever it is that couples do but if your friend is in a relationship and she loves you then make a plan to double date with her significant other and one of his mates. It’s a hangout quasi date as opposed to that expectation laden first date so can be light. Now is the time to pull that beg a friend card you’ve been saving for years. Remember when you went to pick her arse up from a date gone bad? Wait, no that was me that was stranded….remember that time when you were ….wait, no me again. Fuck it! Just go through your friends list and see who is in a happy relationship. If you don’t know ANY then maybe that’s part of the problem?
3) Singles mixers and speed dating events I don’t mind mixers but I do find the women hard work and the men a little too cocksure for my tastes. Relax. It’s not an interview! It’s an opportunity to meet other people you know are single. Personally I find speed dating a horrific idea because we’ve already decided after 10 seconds if we can sleep with each other but now we have to stand there and pretend for 3-5 minutes? I just don’t have time for that! But the invitations for singles events will be coming thick and fast. I don’t think I can cope with these this year after 5, yes 5 bad Valentine’s days in a row. So what am I likely to do? A cheeky 4th option….
4) Throw your own party Yes indeedy. It could be for singles only and you request (sideeye) all of your friends to bring other single people but the chances are it will be the usual gathering of friends and frenemies. Of course what with me not wanting to seem too bitter I’ll do it on Singletinis day which is the day AFTER Valentine’s day and luckily this year happens to be on a Saturday. Hmmmmm, I’m thinking a pink champagne theme this year just because you know, I never ever get tired of pink. So there you have it. Start now my precious and don’t wait for that last minute scramble for a single male friend who would rather be indoors playing a video game than at an overpriced restaurant with the tables pushed too closely. Happy Valentine’s date hunting!
© Chelsea Black