6. Remind yourself of why they’re an ex
Every relationship is a compromise at the best of times and there will be things about him that you knew were a compromise. For me it’s usually grammatical errors or…football teams. I don’t know how it happens but I keep bumping into cute Arsenal fans. I think it has something to do with living in London and not Manchester but we all know there are probably more United fans in London than in Manchester anyway so this shouldn’t be an issue? Anyway I digress.
The point is now is that time for you to not have to settle for less than you deserve. There is a big difference between a compromise and a sacrifice and some things are sacrifices. Knowing that he’ll always be poor and you’ll have to work throughout your maternity is a fucking sacrifice. Having to go to Highbury or wear the occasional non United top in bed? Compromise. Would he do the same for you though? I doubt it!
7. Remember the bad times
There will be things that they did that are unforgivable. Forgetting to call on your birthday, still sleeping with the ex, buying you a mars bar instead of a twix. These are all signs of a man that’s not in love with you. Remember them when you are weakening and thinking about going back to him. Don’t think about the time he looked after you when you had allergies. Or the one time he let you hold the remote. That’s not enough! Think about the time he forgot to record your favourite show on TV or was late or was unreachable for days then claimed HE had allergies. Yes indeedy use that anger to fuel you into recovery. That’s what it’s there for. If it helps a dart board with his picture can focus your anger and aggression
Remembering the bad times is the only way forward here
8. Write them a nasty letter then burn it . Do not, I repeat do not send
Quite often the relationship ends abruptly and there just isn’t the needed closure. Write a letter and put down all the things you want to say but can’t because you know they’ll interrupt you with some nonsense or other. Write it….then burn it. Let all that anger go because anger is only good when you’re weakening but generally it’s a terrible emotion and it’s ugly. We can’t afford to look ugly my precious. Being single means you have to put your best foot forward!
So put all of those thoughts down on paper so that you are clear on how you feel. Then burn it. I would suggest writing it out as opposed to typing it because typed letters often get emailed. Just saying…
9. Eat all the things he hated.
Sometimes your diets become similar. I hate onions, mushrooms, peppers and garlic. I also don’t do dairy apart from my beloved chocolate. Exes have found that their tastes change to suit mine and sometimes mine change to suit them but less so. You can’t have 2 food fussy people in the relationship.
An example is that a lot of guys are on this non pork malarkey. I don’t get it if not for religious reasons. I tend to celebrate a break up from one of these with a steady diet of pig and Prosecco. Sharing a bottle of Prosecco is also something you do less of in a relationship. They want hard spirits or beer. Urgh. So I drown myself in sausages and bacon. Good times.
10. Be happy
Nothing pisses off an ex more than bumping into a happy you or hearing about your happiness. I spotted a picture of an ex recently and he looked good. How dare he look better now than when we were together! Be happy my precious and know that your happiness is the best way to get even.
© Chelsea Black 2014