A-Sexy: D is for Due Diligence part 1

So I’ve been talking to a cab driver from North London for a couple of weeks. He finds me to be a judgemental snob for not dating men on pay as you go and I find him to be defensive and slightly sneaky for one his age. He is Nigerian, 40, claims to be single and talking to 6 women at the moment so my chances aren’t great at best. His chances are a couple of dates, a shag and me disappearing. I know he isn’t a FuHu.  He lives outside my 45 minute dating zone but as a cab driver he can come to me, right. Anyway I digress.

All was going well I guess until I asked him if he was on Facebook or Twitter. No he said he’s never been on either. Huh? Never?!? Now I know people who have left Twitter yes but Mama Black and half my Aunts are on Facebook so why not him? He mumbled something about not being into social media and that if he wants to speak to his friends he’ll do it the conventional way and alarm bells starting ringing. And I’ll tell you for why my precious. It means that my Due Diligence is well and truly scuppered.

Due Diligence is an important part of the dating process. Gone are the days when you would go to the elders and say that you like a girl and they would say “Eish that one? Her family are all lazy and can’t grind maize well. Best you go for one of the Mbali girls they make strong babies with those big breasts of theirs.” No unless you meet him in church, a gym or university the community check is long dead. That said there is about 1.5 degrees of separation in Black London so somehow somewhere you will likely know someone who knows your potential date.  Or maybe that’s just me?

But as the virtual widens our circles of trust so too does it mean that we open ourselves to more risk and dating becomes less safe. I’m not only talking about social sites but dating sites too. Side note: Plenty of Fish is the most dangerous site for your mental health ever. I’m not saying spy on them as once this happens the relationship is pretty much over but keep your wits about you and look for signs, right?

I know my precious, I know you want to trust him and he looks sincere but is there any real harm in doing some checks? I’m not suggesting you invest £300 in a Private Investigator just yet, no wait for the proposal and the return of the valuation of the engagement ring before you go that far. I’m not going to go into all of the due diligence that we ladies go into as I know that some men out there would use it as a means of getting slicker but there are a couple of headliners that all women should consider, no?

Let’s do this! Part 2

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups