This is the first in a series on Finding a Man because, apparently they are lost or have disappeared. We are starting with the current topic of the World Cup and football. There is an old, not so sage saying about finding someone with similar interests to you. I don’t know many men who are into 80s pop or gay Asian dramas so I’m going to go with something else.

Football is universal.  I would say that during a World Cup even men who aren’t that wedded to a local team become sportsperts. Whether you love football or not is a moot point. Men will gravitate toward it and therefore your potential dating pool increases.

Good luck my precious and remember, finding and wanting to keep him are two completely different hobbies. Choose wisely as a World Cup is only 4 weeks but a boyfriend could be considerably longer.

1.     Back to pubs and bars

Probably the easiest place to find a man during the World Cup is at drinking holes. Beware that you must go in neutral colours to avoid being turned away from some venues. Treat this as an extension of Premiership rules. And don’t try to talk too much during the match. If you don’t know the rules, now is not the time to learn. Wait until afterwards and give it 30 minutes for the coach debrief.

I would say choose a pub or bar and hang out regularly. Then you’re more comfortable when there are football games and you can claim that this is YOUR regular drinking hole. Avoid travel to those bars that host special nights unless you’ve got a tip off that lots of a certain countryman will be there (e.g. Ghana). And you have to drag your recalcitrant female friend. This is what they are good for. Men are suspicious of women hanging around bars alone or with other men.  

2.     Commenting on Social Media

Joining groups on social media creates a safe space to chat to people but this one can be hit and miss. Lots of people love to pontificate. Then you meet them and find out that they know very little on a subject and cut and paste their thoughts on Messi.

Look, avoid this if you don’t know what you’re talking about. Don’t comment on the Iranian team’s defensive 4 if you don’t know that they have a defensive 4. Don’t drool over the hotties either even though there are an awful lot of them on screen.  You’ll just make him feel insecure about his own post covid love lumps. I would literally just low-key stalk to see if he knows what he’s talking about before posting the odd encouragement for certain teams during the match. You know, like you’re watching.

3.     Sweepstakes

The Work Place may have a World Cup Sweepstakes. It’s too late to join now but open those emails and see who is into which teams and why. This is even more important now that we are mainly working from home and don’t have the opportunity to bump into potential or work crush in the corridor. It may give you that watercooler moment with the dude who has Japan in the sweepstakes or something random to talk about. Which leads me onto …

4.     For Football Fans

I’ve learned this from bitter experience. Some of us grew up watching and playing football and so know as much if not more than the average man. The difference is that when some women are into something they can geek out on an entirely different level. Our fan ability is almost untouchable. And if you happen to fancy some of the players then your google is doing overtime.

Hence I implore you: Do not mansplain football to men. Their egos get hurt and they immediately friend zone you as punishment labelling you ‘one of the guys’. The best thing to do is to hold off on explaining why West African football and North African football are superior in skill but lack key elements that enable teams to consistently beat European and South American teams. You don’t talk about the financial corruption, infrastructures and decolonisation of football required to make this an even playing field. You just nod sagely as he bemoans his team’s loss and accept that football is emosh for many.

5.     Stadiums

I’m not sure that football stadiums are conducive to meeting men. The ratio of men to women is a lot higher, yes but, they’re so busy impressing each other and drinking that it’s tough to get in there. Plus ticket prices these days especially if you’re not really into the sport can be prohibitive. I would avoid this one unless you are dedicated to local football as opposed to World Cup. Flying to Qatar isn’t the one.

So go forth and find yourself a man during this world cup. They double as a winter warmer with this late in the year world cup so, go forth, conquer and cuddle.

Happy Footballing!

© Chelsea Black® 2022

Euro 2024 update – don’t forget the ‘He’s Coming Home’ campaign by Women’s Aid. Not all football fans are joyous and some women experience more violence doing football season and big events.