Spreadsheets for Dating?

A – Sexy D is for Dating database

Heard about the finance guy in New York who kept a spreadsheet of all the women he was dating on match.com? Read about it. He’s famous for having the foresight to keep accurate records.

I personally applaud him. There is many a time I’ve been on one of the bigger dating sites such as the free Plenty of Fish or the rip off match.com (selling love? All the men on there want to do is fuck and hope their wives don’t find out!) and sometimes the same idiots have sent me the same cut and paste email. I’m not expecting you to wax lyrical or be a poet romantic but a little individuality wouldn’t go a miss. They can’t even be bothered to check who they are sending it to before I get;

Hi Chelsea / Hey there Gorgeous (I’m not anybody’s definition of gorgeous, trust me)

Loving your profile /photos (I rarely post photos and my profile hasn’t been approved yet)

I think we have a lot in common. (How? I hate the great outdoors, animals and all the sports you listed. You don’t read and sushi make me ill)

Take a look at mine and see what you think (barely anything there except all the things I hate)

Here’s my number, maybe we can chat some time and take it from there? (Giving out your number means I must now call you? Cheap, lazy or pay as you go owner)

Really looking forward to hearing from you Babe. (Babe? Oh no he didn’t. Yes, he did)

Some are a little more adventurous and put in stuff that clearly didn’t come from your profile like. I love cooking too. Dude, that was soooo not from my profile.

So bad enough you get the standardised email but to get it more than once is just insulting. There was one guy who sent it to me a couple of times before I politely told him that I’d received it. He then had a go at me for not responding.

Now I know that (generally) women are looking for love and men are looking for sex and rarely the twain shall meet on dating sites but looking in a sloppy manner is just unacceptable. What we do have to accept is that when you are looking for love you are looking for The One. When you are looking for sex then you really want to ensure that you are playing the stats game and what better way to manage this than with an excel spreadsheet. I’m surprised it wasn’t an access database but apparently he was only dating 8 bless him so that would have been overkill.

I say more people should keep records. That way you will pick up patterns more quickly. Short men lie about their height. Cheap men will never ever let you pick the restaurant and those that are cheating on their partners always have certain times when you can’t call because they are working. Their phone is generally off the majority of the time.

So take notes my precious and make sure that you keep your dating portfolio diverse. The one thing you would hate to do is wear the same outfit with the same man in the same week.  Not that he would notice. Most are more interested in what you have underneath that outfit.

To spreadsheets!

©Chelsea Black

Leave a Reply