Ghosts of 2021
The last day of the year and we survived another year of dating, ghosting, wastemen and people that aren’t ready for what you want but are happy to get into situationships whilst they figure it out. I’ve found that the second year of the pandemic is like that tricky second album or book. Nobody is as panicked by covid and desperate dating. Alas they’ve slipped into their old, ghost ways. It’s tiring, it’s boring and quite frankly I don’t think we need to put up with it. So, here’s why we need to say a final goodbye to the ghosts of 2021.
The aggressive ghost
So a guy hit me up on the big dating app aka Facebook. Yeah you guys aren’t slick with the sliding into the DMs. He was like, let’s be together. I was like, I’m scared of the Rona so don’t want to meet up with people. He thought he could prove how into me he was by loving all of my posts. Some of those posts weren’t even loveable.
It went back and forth until he gave me an ultimatum and said we needed to meet or else. This, without any phone calls just a few, pithy whatapps? I mean, what’s with the aggression? Was he not scared of the Rona? I tried to tell him that with his age and weight he needed to be more scared than he was.
My spidey senses told me to hold my ground and I stuck with my anti rona catching lines. He got the message and promptly disappeared. Months later I’m talking to a mutual about the situation and she’s all confused because he’s long term married with a family home etc. Not once did it come up. Not a once. A ghost I’m glad stayed dead.
The competitive ghost
This one is an ex colleague who tried a move but only proceeds if he thinks he’s doing better than me. He called and I did the usual catch up conversation that we do every 8-9 months. Turns out he’s on the verge of another break up and would like to transition smoothly into another relationship before Valentine’s day. I tell him I’m cool and that I’m focused on the Plantations right now. He jumps in and tries to impress me with his plantation achievements which, if I’m honest, aren’t that much better than 9 months ago. I tell him about my work woes and a big contract and plans for 2022. I know I won’t be hearing from him until he thinks he’s doing better than me and happily accept the ghosting.
The check in ghost
The check in ghost(CIG) has been around for years. I want to say 8 years but I never really noticed when he swept into my aura. CIG is a self identifying nice guy who can’t catch a break because Black women are mean and don’t appreciate the special gift that is CIG. That’s because CIG isn’t nice but thinks that a measure of niceness is how much he spends on women. Everything he does is a test and women are constantly failing tests they weren’t aware they were taking.
Like take me. Apparently I was in the rotation and he was testing to see if I too would abandon him. We were never together so I didn’t understand this. He claimed we were friends but I never reached out to him so how were we friends?
This year I decided I’d had enough of listening to CIG’s dating woes and I stopped answering his calls. I heard through the Black London grapevine that I too had joined that group of evil women who use men and then abandon them. I racked my brain trying to work out what benefit CIG had ever been to my life and realised, this was yet another ghost I was happy to be rid of! Bye bye ghost.
Crush Ghost
So I was reviewing my crushes and realised that if I didn’t reach out first I never heard from them. So in the summer of 2021 I took the decision to stop chasing ghosts. I was never going to make it as a ghostbuster. And for the most part theey’ve stayed dead. My fantasy of them being as into me as I was into them was clearly deluded.
I think I’ve slayed all of the ghosts of 2021 and walk into 2022 ghost free. Here’s hoping that 2022 bring more full bloodied dates with plenty of life in them for all of us singirls. And married men, stay out of single women’s inboxes. There is nothing here for you but potential wahala.
Happy New Year All. Wishing you only the best in 2022
© Chelsea Black® 2021
