Pay as You Go

In the Black – Just saying no

Ok, confession time. Hi, my name is Chelsea and…..I can no longer date guys with pay as you go (PAYG) phones. It may sound harsh but here’s an ABC of why it just doesn’t work for me.

Cubana, Waterloo: my friends and I bump into a cutish guy. I say cutish because tight jeans don’t really look good on any man do they? Ok, I think I picked him up so clearly logic had been drowned in mojitos.

The 2nd time he called he asked me to call him back as he was low on credit. Still naïve to the PAYG syndrome I acquiesced. He eagerly talked about himself for 45 minutes with very little pause whilst I played free cell and tried to remember what he looked like.

I tuned back in and it dawned on me that every story he had told centred on him being off his face on drugs. I explained that all my money is for my own addictions – chocolate, cocktails and clothes. Not cocks on coke. I thought we had a spiritual mojito connection but clearly our mobile connection was broken

Bi Guy?
Heaven, Charing X: I was approached by this pretty young thing walking around with his shirt off. My friends insisted he was gay. He said he was straight. It was 3am, I shrugged and proceeded to engage in some “snog” action (I know, how old am I?)

A few days later he calls asking me to call him back. I know my precious but the BODY! Numerous missed calls later and I was getting fed up. The final straw was when I got the old “low on credit, call me now!” text. I quickly dumped him by text as I figured this was in a format he understood. Is it so wrong that his phone habits bother me more than his sexuality?

Benugos, Waterloo: The only clues I have of this guy are a few drunken photos on my camera. He called days later and quickly asked me what network I was on. He then said that he couldn’t really chat to me anymore because I wasn’t on his network and his credit was running low. I figured he meant that day. I guess our networks are incompatible because its been 4 months. Maybe he’s waiting for his contract to kick in?

Now you know me, I’m all about the phone foreplay. I love my blackberry and my service provider loves me for my commitment to their profit margin. So when a guy won’t commit to a contract what are the chances that he’ll commit to me? I’m not asking for 18 months you know. Just long enough for a chapter in his autobiography, half his assets or a really good holiday. So from now on its no to pay as you go. A girl’s got to put her stiletto down.

OR, maybe I should just avoid Waterloo…..?

© Chelsea Black

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