A Solo Christmas Survival Guide 2020: 8 ways to rock Tier 4

8 Ways to Rocks Tier 4

Last night we got the news that not only did Boris Johnson aka BoJo determine that there was a new Tier the day of one of the busiest shopping days of the year, but that this would mean many of us spending Christmas alone.

Ok I know it’s shit as Christmas is a time for family and friends etc but, given that we don’t have much choice I’ve scribbled a guide to making the most of your Tier 4 Christmas because we may as well make it fun. So here it is. A Solo Christmas Survival Guide

1.     Eat what and when you like

Christmas dinner is always late as we wait for everyone to turn up and get settled. I’m always hangry by the time it’s served and as a non drinker can’t even get drunk in the lounge!

As someone who likes food a little too much I’ve already planned my menu. No 3 days of turkey for me this year. I’m going roast tatties, sprouts, cauliflower cheese and a Nandos style chicken breast and thight. For dessert, I’m going to try GF doughtnuts and a small (cough) serving of brownies. I don’t have to cater to other people’s paletters (so no nuts and a Gluten Free zone) is perfect without stress. Plus I don’t have days of leftovers to contend with. I mean, on the main course side. The desserts, nobody can cook a single portion of brownies! It makes no sense!

Also I can have as many portions as I want without the judgy sideeyes from well meaning relatives. YES, another corner of brownie thanks Auntie!

2.     Watch / Read / Listen to what you like

No fight for the remote control. Admittedly I’ll miss all of the Christmas specials and especially Top of the Pops which is the only time I hear of the biggest tracks of the year. But there will be nobody wanting to watch some random film of no real value like Die Hard in your space.

For me I get annoyed as I just want to sit in the lounge, read a good book and listen to my favourite songs. I’ll probably play Quincy Jones’s ‘A Soulful Celebration’ to give a nod to Christmas music but then stick to my faves. Maybe make yourself a playlist?

Oh can someone record Gavin and Stacey for me? I don’t have BBC!

3.     Have a lie in

No need to be woken at stupid o’clock to baste the turkey or clean the house! The way I hated the early morning wake up of excited kids after a Christmas Eve night out. No need to worry though, you’ll be gifted that lie in. Enjoy. Hmmmm, that’s got me thinking on what my Christmas outfit should be as there won’t be any photos. Onesie anyone?

4.     You don’t have to be nice to badly behaved people

From Children who haven’t learned how to behave at other people’s houses to vague, annoying relatives to the colleague of your mum’s who has nowhere to go you don’t have to make polite conversation or small talk. You can have very quick zoom chats to those you like / tolerate, and you don’t have to worry about potential germy hands or mansplaining your single status to that one Uncle who is a drunken dick at every family event. Yay!

5.     Create some new ‘Me’ traditions

Not that you will even need to solo Christmas again but maybe this is a great way to carve out some ‘Me’ traditions on Christmas day. Anything from a jog to a meditation to a long soak to …well you can do whatever the fuck you like! And that’s something you can carry forward on Christmas morning no matter what your circumstances are next year.

6.     Buy fewer gifts

And send! I’ve basically just sent everything online this year and not needed to bother with all those stocking filler gifts that weight down my suitcase. Plus the added bonus of no wrapping paper debacles. I am neither a rapper nor a wrapper of gifts. Its’ a bag of tissue at most from me.

Economically we have to be aware that not everyone has the same Christmas budget so maybe this isn’t the year to splash out on that novelty gift when they really could do with stationery for the Back-to-School shop in January. I’ll miss all the flashing lights, musical gift reveals as the parents roll their eyes at me. Mwahahaha!  

7.     Nobody needs to see your reaction to their gifts

I can’t hide my reaction to gifts and some have been humdingers. Like the nail clippers from my niece because my nails are too long apparently. I mean, thanks? At least she bought me Lindor too so she managed to salvage the moment.

But yes you can rip through your gifts early doors then fix your face before you have to pretend to like it an subtly ask if there’s a gift voucher?

8.     No Drinking and Driving risks  

Those of you that imbibe can enjoy your drinks to your heart’s content without censure or worry. No need to do that drive afterwards or monitor how much you can drink. Happy Days.  

Word of advice? Get all of the thank you zoom calls out of the way first before you really start hitting the good stuff. Nobody needs a slightly squiffy, inappropriately flirty drunken dial in the evening.

Write, let me go sort out the ingredients for my trio of desserts. Yep, I’ve just added a cheesecake for good measure. Or Ginger Banana Bread and…

Happy Christmassing all and enjoy yourself this year. Don’t let BoJo the clown get you down. Besides, you have next year to look forward to and a double Christmas celebration instead, right?

© Chelsea Black ® 2020 (Covid Era)

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