So yesterday we had a big meeting and work woes continue. Essentially it was a group of permanent people deciding on my temporary future. IS the project worth continuing or should we just accept that it was broken since its inception under the old regime and keep it moving.

I was ambivalent. A month’s notice over the xmas holidays would be nice as I would just be closing down the project and leaving early for Xmas parties. That said, no new jobs will come out until end of January so not the best time to be job searching. So my fate was to be decided by others.

Wait, let me introduce you to the characters:

Old boss – about to abandon me for a life abroad. If I was white, ginger and English this is probably who I would be. We are the same spirit

New boss – Supports Chelsea and is insecure. Old and a bit competitive. Has been gunning to get me out because he thinks cutting staff is the best way to make savings. Idiot.

Big Boss – Another ginger. We minorities stick together

Blonde Boss – she lives up to the media sterotype and, lives in Essex

We walk into the room and I immediately choose the chair at the head of the table. If they’re going to essentially sack me then at least they can do it when I’m in the comfy chair.

New Boss kicks off with, this is broken. Can we just end it now. Big Boss seems to agree. But then, Old Boss is all, no! This can work. Ra Ra Ra. New Boss Shrinks whilst the gingers plan world domination through social care. I almost think that I want to stay and do this. We can do this. We can turn this plantation into a utopia. I’m even thinking, after Christmas I might come in on time occasionally to prove I’m a team player.

The Outcome

Finally after oscillating between pulling the plug and committing more resources to the project and lamenting over the thousands they’ve wasted to date on idiots who have now left, they decide to resuscitate one last time.

I’m ok with this and start planning my holidays with the money when, Blonde Boss decides you wants to get involved. Why? Blonde Boss is not smart. She’s pretty and likes to wear dresses from Reiss. This tells you that physically Blonde Boss and I are as far apart as Nandos and McDonalds. (I’m Nandos in case you needed to ask) Now she wants a weekly meeting to help her understand the project. Why? This project has been crashing along since 2013. Why is she only interested now?

And then I see it. She’s trying to impress Big Boss. Married with kids Big Boss. She is also scared that New Boss will oust her out. I’m essentially trapped in what would be the most flat bottomed, insecure soap ever to grace TV. This is not good.

So I leave the meeting, refresh my CV and call my agency. Nobody should have to live like this. Here’s to a better soap in 2016

© Chelsea Black 2015

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups