OK so rules to texting. There are 10 times when you mustn’t text

1)      When you know the other person is upset. A hey how you doin’? Text isn’t going to cut the mustard champ.

2)      When you want sex but haven’t been in touch recently. Early mornings, late night texts out of the blue are so obvious to all. Especially after months or weeks of no contact.

3)      When the person has broken pattern and not contacted you. This one is for the ladies. He has stopped calling or texting you. Most men are behaviourally quite predictable. So when he breaks his MO best you don’t poke the bear by texting. Pick up the phone and speak to him like an adult. His voice will tell you more than a text respond

4)      To break up – email isn’t acceptable either folks. Apparently

5)      When the text starts with ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ or ‘We need to talk’ then best you don’t send it. This just raises panic in the other person.

6)      When you’re drunk and not sure who it is you’re texting. – Guilty

7)      When your sense of humour is dry and sardonic best you avoid testing it out on the new partner who probably takes them literally.

8)      When there are too many emoticons and exclamation marks. Be your own editor. That just looks like something Cher from Clueless would send

9)      When you’re bored or seeking attention. You end up promising to hang out with some guy you have no interest in.

10)   When you have way too many people with the same name in your phone. I thought I was talking to an old friend but no, I was talking to the small pistol guy with a faulty trigger.

I’ve heard that women should never ever text first but my theory is keep texting to a minimum. If you want more than a bootycall than surely you’ve got to be able to communicate with this person verbally. Or are you planning to text him in bed with instructions. “Hey babe, bit more to the left yeah?” 😉

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups