Restaurant foods – I can afford restaurants. (ladies please check for frequency of postings)

Cocktails – I know girls like cocktails innit?

Home cooked food – Here’s one my mother made earlier. Now come over so we can get busy

Sexy body parts – I want you to lust after me but know you CAN have me. By the way, this is the only bit that looks this good

Arty – I know women fall for that pretentious arty crap.

Full body shot– check my 4Sq. I’m the mayor of a gym. Look at me.

Half naked torso  – I used to be skinny / fat.

Just children – Some bird will be thick enough to think this means that I’ll give her kids. Nope, I’m done.

Cats – I’m perverse an territorial (ladies grab your purse and run!)

Beaches and holiday destinations – Stag do. 1997. I go to pick up drunken English chicks and poor foreign chicks. They think telesales is impressive.

Dogs – It shows I can look after something without killing it, right?

Photos with friends out – I have friends who are my life. . So don’t try to trap me in on a Saturday night.

Photos in bathrooms in clubs – I swing both ways.

Photos with random strangers in clubs – Pete stole my camera trying to impress some bird.

Drunken pictures – Are they any other kind?

Photos with exes – See her? Yeah I convinced someone that hot to sleep with me. I’m not pathetic.

Happy Sunday!

© Chelsea Black


Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups