Restaurant foods – I’m a food snob. You’ll never see me cook.

Cocktails – I like pretty colours. I like pweety colours!

Home cooked food – I’m looking for a husband. See, I can cook!  At least until I get you.

Sexy body parts – I want you to lust after me but know you’ll never get me. By the way, this is my best bit

Arty – I’m a pretentious wannabe.

Full body shot – I go to the gym. Look at me.

Just children – I gave up on my dreams years ago. I live vicariously through the kids

Cats – I gave up on a relationship years ago. It’s just me and evil eyed Fluffy.

Beaches and holiday destinations – I want you to think I’m more exciting and well-travelled then Weston super mere and one trip to Tenerife with my parents

Dogs – I need a needy companion who isn’t as hairy. Please? Pick me!

Photos with friends out – I have friends. We go out and take pictures cos we are having so much fun!

Photos in bathrooms in clubs – I’m ashamed of my need to live my life online and will never wear this dress again

Photos with random strangers in clubs – I have few friends and I’m drunk enough to bug people.

Drunken pictures – I want you to accept me for the drunken lush that I am (hic)

Photos with exes – Yeah I’m not quite over him. Baggage alert

Happy Saturday!

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups