waiting 2   So the other day I went to my 2nd favourite psychic. I believe in having a team of psychics as I have at least 3 personalities. Any hoo I turn up and she tells me that I look lighter. I tell her I’m a stone heavier. She does the cards and for once I don’t get swords and doom but get happy, yellow cards! Woo hoo. This must mean that things are looking up at casa de Chelsea. But what?

She told me that the next relationship would be my soulmate, easy, no stress and that we would share the same values. This negated all of the guys that have shown even a flicker of interest in the last 3 mwaitingonths. So basically she’s telling me that it’s back to square one. I don’t know if my somewhat lighter spirit can take this. She tells me that I’m still working through the disappointment of dating a crackhead but that I shouldn’t blame myself for him being a crackhead. I nod sagely and tell her that wastemen seem to seek me out. Is it me? She tells me that maybe I’m being over cautious and I have to let the light in. I want to ask if this means more sex in my future but I don’t want her to know that I still have tartish thoughts as a celibate. Besides, she’s a psychic. She knows without me saying.

But then it hit me, here I am waiting for this man to get off the A406 and come to me. I’m convinced that this is where he is trying to come in from the relative cold of zone 3 or 4 . Why is my life on hold until he turns up? I’ve got 5 more months of fabulosity 214 and I’m going to make the most of it dammit. I’m failing in my target of one date a month. I’ve been on one date this year. Yes it was overseas so it was pretty big but still.

Am I being too fussy? Maybe I should say yes to those shorter than me (I’m 5’5.5) and those with messy baggage and those that scream commitment issues or tell you that they prefer mixed race or white women?

Last week I attendewaiting 3d a peer’s funeral. She lived her life to the fullest and although she’s gone way too early she left memories on everyone. I want to be that person. Not the person who everyone has to scratch their head to remember. I want to leave a dating legacy whether that be remembered for the disastrous dates or just having lots and lots of fun. Don’t get me wrong. Dating used to be fun but then one day it was just one bad date too many and it became a chore. I got what’s commonly known in the biz as dating fatigue!

I do kwaiting 4now this: I’m going to enjoy the rest of my dating life because one day FuHu will come along and dating as we know it will be over. I’ll probably miss the excitement of getting dolled up and hearing his 5 good stories for the first time. Or the anticipation of that first kiss and grab. Or the wrestling into clothes that are way, way too snug but make me look like a blow up doll. Times like these will be missed. Why am I rushing for them to be over?

I do love my psychic visits. They’re a mini therapy sessions. They remind me of the fun parts of being a singletini. Here’s to my mini dating renaissance. To dating! Chink chink.

© Chelsea Black 2014

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups