Dear Supermarket Man,

I’ll keep this short because I know you’re busy what with the school holidays almost over and the children about to be released back in the wild.

It is with grave regret that I write to you to inform you about a grave trade descriptions act issue I’ve come across at your Chelsea Kings Road branch.

I pop in regularly to purchase the 4 pack of Twix for £1.56. Not as cheap as the special you were running before where you were selling 2 x 4 pack for £2. Those were some great days. Tesco has them on for £1.86. I’ve shopped around supermarket Man. Apologies if you are a Supermarket Woman. I just don’t think a woman would do this to me.

So I bought my 4sum the other day and was devastated to find that these Twix were not the standard size. These were MINI Twix.

Now when you sell me the big Twix you call Twix Extra aka Twix Kingsize. But when you sell me these imposters I’m not informed? No I had to wait ‘til I got home to discover the betrayal. It takes two of these minis to fill the emotional hole.

Please fix this as a matter of urgency. I would have to report you to Trading Standards but this is indeed something worthy of their attention. I trust I will not have to write to you about this matter ever again.

Yours in hunger

Chelsea ‘Twix’ Black

Twix lover since before she could say the word Twix

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups