The neighbour and the orang-utan

I didn’t want to think it but the more it happens the more I know that my neighbour ignores me when his girlfriend is there. I don’t get it. I don’t flirt, he doesn’t flirt and yet when they are together he ignores me? Hmmmm

Neighbour’s sofa is positioned in such a way that he can look at passers-by. I walk or waddle by, give him the ‘can’t stop, busy’ half wave salute and he waves back. 3 years and we have a routine. But then last year I invited him to my New Year’s Eve party. I figured in the seasonal spirit why not? I invite him to all my parties and he always says he’ll come and doesn’t. Fair enough he has something better to do I thought. Until the day he ignored me.

Example 1

Neighbour and Gym new boobs (she seems to spend an inordinate amount of time in the gym and, just a guess, has new boobs) were getting out of the car. I was waddling by. Now, bear in mind I’m a very slow waddler I did my half wave and he pretended not to see me? Hmmm I waddled on by. Maybe he didn’t see me?

Example 2

I see Neighbour 2 days later and he enthusiastically waves first. Orang-utan Gym new boobs clearly had a sunbed session. Seriously anymore and she’ll be darker than me. We chat and I go on about my day. I assume therefore that he really hadn’t seen me.

Example 3

Neighbour and Gym new boobs (Like really. How much time does she spend in the gym? And rather a lot of it under the sun bed.  I’m not hating. I just wonder if that’s her job?) are sitting on the sofa and I walked past with shopping. He sees me clearly and yet didn’t return the wave. I’m carrying M&S bags!

So this has got me thinking and I can only come up with the following conclusions for Neighbours weird behaviour:

1)      He’s a player and Orang-utan New Boobs has caught his out before

2)      He’s a player and so smooth that Orang-utan New Boobs has never caught him out. She always seems oblivious to me.

3)      She’s insecure and he’s protecting her from assuming that as we practically live together although 20 houses apart she has anything to worry about.

4)      He’s short sighted ….or long sighted.

5)      He’s a man

I guess I will never know unless they break up and he confesses all in a weak moment. I may just pop in a pink scented note inviting him over for a night cap. Cos I’m neighbourly like that

Happy Gold Blending!

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups