A-Sexy: C is for cockblock part 3

So why is that if I like a guy and I show a picture or podcast to certain gay friends they HAVE to assume he’s a friend of Dorothy too? No dude, he’s metrosexual. It’s a recognised sexuality now. I wiki’d it so it must be so.

I used to make decisions based on the opinion of these know it alls way too much and it took me ages to realise that similarly to your female friends they cock block too. I assumed that their havinga penis meant that they were giving me the inside track on male behaviour. But that’s not always the case. Most are fine but we all have the gay friend that demands to be the centre of attention or else no one is going to have fun that night.  I mean, some are such attention whores that they don’t like to go anywhere where there isn’t a chance of them pulling. Ask them to go to a straight club and they’ll come, complain about how boring it is for an hour then drag you into Soho, Vauxhall or at a stretch Earls Court for some late night fun where they immediately cop off leaving you talking to the guy no one wants. That said I have managed to pull in a number of gay clubs but, that’s not the point!

Sometimes, just as you’re chatting away to someone you like or looks good because you are drunk (same thing at 2am) one of them camps it up or outrageously flirt with a potential victim. This can backfire as some men love being flirted with and don’t care who it is. That’s a whole other blog.

But no, I have a certain gay friend who thinks everyone is gay. I remember pouring my heart out about a certain crush and he was like “But sweetie, he’s gay!” I’d heard this way to often. “Look at his eyes, he’s obviously family.” Huh?

NO DUDE HE’S NOT! I slept with him and he’s not. Yes the sex was a little awkward and he kept finding the wrong hole and his attention to detail in his home décor was on point and he was a snazzy dresser and gave me fashion advice all the time and the one time I saw him hanging out at the gay club but he said that it was his new friends 30th even though he had his top off and seemed to know an awful lot of guys there….

OK THAT one was gay but the others? NO

© Chelsea Black

 

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups