Then there’s the fancy:

I was seeing dude for a few weeks at the beginning of the year after he persistently pursued me by phone. He was cute but young and I’m really not that into dating those that use relationships as therapy. He would call me when he knew I was in French or sleeping then not be available at other times. I honestly figured that there must be someone else in the picture at times but he was just too disorganised to be a playa. Anyway when it ended I told him that I didn’t want to maintain a friendship. I’m tired of maintaining friendships with exes who just want you to keep listening to their issues. He tried to call etc and I just put him onto my reject list (thanks Samsung mini for this beautiful feature.)

So I’ve been dodging short texts and calls from him for a week or so but a whatsapp is harder to ignore. (Dear Samsung, please buy whatsapp and fix this oversight)  He offered me an electronic copy of a football book that I wanted. So he finally knew how to reel me in 6 months later?

A conversation ensued. It was the usual Bullshit about him having had time to reflect and grow and realising that I’d been really sweet to him during our long 10 week relationship. Yes my precious, I can be sweet when I can be bothered.  Apparently his gambling problem was no longer a problem but he was able to party with the best of them now. I just figured one compulsion had been replaced with another but kept quiet. I am no longer the person that is here to tell him about himself.

Why I was nice to this dude when he was perpetually late, couldn’t seem to get his shit together and did stupid things like start a conversation then disappear for hours I don’t really know. I must stop giving people chances to prove themselves after the 2nd time. The last straw is documented in Dating a man child.

I was just starting to fefancy guyel good about our conversation. An apology is nice even if it’s 6 months too late. I would prefer that they didn’t make obvious mistakes in the first place but apparently I’m being too picky when I add this to my wish list.

I acknowledged his love of Thor as the movie has just come out and told him he must have been excited about it. Then he told me that he had been and that Iron Man 3 wasn’t even in his top 10. So I asked him why he felt it necessary to call me on my birthday at 3am for a movie that wasn’t even in his top 10! I feel myself starting to get annoyed again and thought, there it is. There’s a feeling of having to deal with someone who doesn’t have a clue as to how their behaviour impacts on others.

Then the dude disappeared for ages and tried to resume the conversation after midnight? Huh? What kind of nonsense is that?  This is dangerously close to booty call territory I promptly told him about himself and he acknowledged that it was thoughtless although he had simply just lost track of time.

Did I ever get the football book though? No I fucking didn’t. It was just a ruse to get me to talk. But I forgive me. Everyone deserves a chance in life, right? Just not a third.

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups