So there is this new phenomenon where men think they’ll try to be honest. They thing that it’s cute. Or refreshing. But, it must stop. From telling women that you wish you could rape them to wanting them to carry their seed, it’s beyond what is deemed appropriate. Where is the perspective? Not everything is now a porno set up scene.
I say this as I had yet another insulting conversation with an ex recently.
Let me back up. I met him in the 90s, loosely dated then hooked up again years later in the noughties. We had one of those heading to the altar relationships until I discovered he had that with quite a few others and couldn’t handle his tequila or his money.
Cut to 5 years later and he’s remarried with a 2nd child and a travel schedule that most gap year kids would kill for. He suggests passing through London. What for? He still cares apparently. I’m almost flattered but then I remember the harem of others that he cares about. I’m not one for forgetting shit like his ex he was engaged to two weeks after we broke up.
Eventually I ask him what he really wants. He says he wants to have a kid with me. So what, 2 kids isn’t enough he wants more? We live in different countries but this doesn’t stop him. So I tell him that I’m insulted that he would think that I would want that. Why would I want kids with a man with 2 kids from 2 different women? He’d insulted me by even suggesting it. I deserve better than being THAT woman.
He then suggests that I become his 2nd wife? Yes me, the woman who has been on this dating merry go round for more years than Take That have been together must now become someone’s 2nd wife. Well, 3rd but 2nd so polygamy .
So here’s my gripe: Why do men think that it’s ok to insult you whilst they try to get with you? Is this part of the Pick up artist game of making them feel insecure so that they’re grateful when you do show them attention later thing that I never understood?
At the end of the day taking second wives or having kids with people outside of their marriage aren’t ideal scenarios. Women are often forced to be single mothers or second wives by necessity not because it’s what they’ve dreamt about since Ralph Macchio was their crush. . Few choose it because it’s bloody hard work. But to suggest that you think that this is something that not only I’d want but you think would be good for me? Like you’re doing me a favour? That’s an insult.
But the phenomenon of insulting a woman is strong. From catcalling in the streets then being pissed off when we call it harassment to sending dick pics without asking if anyone wants to see it…..nobody wants to see that limp veiny looking hot mess of a thing. Put it away please.
This nonsense needs to stop
© Chelsea Black