September 23, 2011 by

The drunken dial (part 1)

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Categories: Misadventures, Read More, Tags: , , , , , , , ,

It was one of those cold evening s when Winter was knocking but like all single girls I was dressed like Summer and I were still hanging out. We totally weren’t and the coat I’d borrowed from Autumn wasn’t enough to keep me warm. I tell you all this my precious so that you can understand that under few other circumstances would I have done what I did.

On this cold day I went out with a group of friends. It started off as a normal group night out but as the crowd wasn’t a particularly lively one and I was really feeling the cold someone suggested shots to liven things up. I say someone like I don’t remember who but, the receipts in my purse the next day points to me being the culprit. Let’s not cast blame. We are all responsible.

Earlier that day an old crush had called me for some business advice. There was no flirtation whatsoever but he had said that he may pop through to the event that night. As the night drew on and my blood sugar level became more sugar than blood and water I forgot about this potential hookup. Honest Guv’nor it slipped my mind. I was way too busy trying to corrupt a 22 year old nervous man child who looked like Boris Kodjoe.

So some hours and more apple sours than are recommended by any government body I was decidedly drunk. But I wasn’t cold! I thanked the gods of the black cab and managed to get myself home without incident. Waking up the next day I congratulated myself on waking up in my own bed and alone. Maybe this meant not only was I finally growing up but I didn’t have to make anyone breakfast.

Hung-over I went back to bed. And then, the phone rang. It was my old crush. I answered assuming he was calling to apologise for being a no show but, instead he started trying to make plans to meet up. Turns out I had called him at 2am. Then again at 3am and finally at 4am declaring my undying love. I reeled in horror but all the time I was thinking, what happened to the Boris Kodjoe look a like?

Ex crush and I are still friends although he always looks at me with an amused smirk. I guess there is something vaguely flattering to a guy that a woman would declare herself like that even if drunk. If reversed be sure I would have deleted him from my life. I now warn all male friends and some women (you never know) that I am a drunken dialler and that they should IGNORE all calls after midnight. Cos apparently I turn into a rambling drunken mess of a chick

So take care my precious and make sure that you have a preventative strategy. The obvious one would not to get drunk but, where’s the fun in moderation?

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups

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