R is for: The Representative

So a friend and I organised a date between mutual friends. Both said they were looking for a relationship. Both are intelligent, attractive people. I had high hopes. The worst that could happen would be that they became friends, right?

Well my precious I’ve just gotten the feedback. I didn’t recognise either of them from the reports?  They are both fun loving and slightly reckless. The people I heard about were ……well boring!

So it got me thinking about the Dating representative. Something I haven’t quite mastered as I tend to talk and only think about how my numerous dating stories may sound to someone else. Yes I get it we put on our better clothes, make sure the hair is looking nice and we wear heels that are dangerously high because they make those 30 minutes of exercise look like you have a muscle in that calf…..but that’s as far as it should go surely.

Instead I am constantly hearing tales of misrepresentation. Like seriously you know you love vodka and the only church you’ve been to in years is that Sunday afternoon drinking joint with sawdust on the floor to better mop up the puke. So why are you on the water? And you love your sugar and a good bottle of plonk with your dinner So why are you denying yourself your favourite dessert and drinking one spritzer like you’re a cheap date?

It’s the wifey effect. You think if you act like he wants you to be then you will nab him. But let’s learn from shows like Big Brother. The Dating Representative isn’t sustainable. Eventually he’ll catch you in the bathroom at yours with half a cream bun stuffed in your mouth. It’s not elegant.

And men do it too. They start with the bombastic ‘big I am’ only for you to find that his house is his mum’s house and his business is, well still a pipe dream.

So let’s forego the Dating Representative. It is just too hard to keep it up despite what the movies tell you.

And ask yourself my precious, which alter ego do you send out on dates?

©Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups