So before I get to today’s meet I have to confess something . Every Monday after the radio show I used to go to the Caribbean take away and get meals for the week. I know. IT’s my secret shame. Then I was shocked when I gained a few (like 8) pounds around the middle and hips. But one of the guys at the café seemed to take a liking to me and would give me extra big portions. I was convinced that the women secretly hated me because they always gave me WAAAAY too much rice despite e asking for not too much please and lots of sauce. So in the new year I just stopped going. I can’t be single and fat. I just can’t

So back to today and I was on the Victoria line one the way back from Euston with my suitcase and a frown as there were delays on 4 of the tube lines. It was hot and everyone was being testy. Finally the guy standing up in front of me got off the carriage and revealed, Caribbean Food Dude. Let me say that he’s cute and flirty but I always assume that’s part of the banter to get people coming back? That said Caribbean takeaways are hardly known for their customer service. Hmmmm…..

We recognised each other and started chatting. Men love to talk about themselves. Like seriously, I think it’s their hobby. Women have shopping. He told me about his life for the last 25 years back in the Caribbean and how he’s only been here a year. It passed the time as we were stuck at a red light.

I could tell that he thought that this was a golden opportunity to ask where I’d been and I eventually confessed to him that his food was making me fat! There was no mention of the 3 packs of Haribos I chase most meals with though. He told me that it wasn’t the rice as I suspected but the sauce where all the calories lay. Clutching my imaginary pearls I refused to believe that the women weren’t sabotaging me. He then said that he would take my number and give me his so that next time I was coming to the shop I could tell him and he’d prepare me a calorie low version of the meal. Like seriously? I want the calories and taste without the bloody weight gain. Why is he being solution focused.

Things were going well until he started telling me about his recent divorce and kids. Apparently the divorce was fine but he didn’t see his kids and he was ok with that. I asked if he  skyped them and again no. He asked if I had kids and I tod him no and he said, ‘Why no?’ Who asks that? Er, I didn’t really know how to answer this

Numbers exchanged and time to punch his name in. Egbert! Oh dear god no, I don’t see how this would work. He called me an hour later just to make sure my number was right. Yes he’s’ cute but I don’t think we come from the same value base. I also don’t know that I could cope with the weight gain?

Sigh. The search continues

© Chelsea Black

 

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups