Do you remember that Matthew McConnaughy movie ‘ghosts of girlfriends past’? I know my precious I too try to forget it. I remember going to the cinema in Spring 2009 and arguing vehemently for it as opposed to some action movie. I won only because I argued that anything Matthew was in had to be half way decent. I clearly hadn’t seen ‘Fool’s Gold’ by then.

Anyway a few blogs are on the Ghosts of my boyfriends’ past. Those that just refuse to go away despite my best intentions to eliminate them through meditation and positive mental attitude.

Take The Chef for instance. Not a boyfriend but a snog buddy for one night. As far as I’m concerned we were over when it was clear he lied about his age and put himself as younger than me. He then proceeded to piss me off by calling at 11.30pm. Yes I was awake but clearly you think that there was no one else in my bed to be that cocky and call late. Lekky blanky and I were in enjoying a juicy romance novel thank you kindly.  I got another call from him this week but I ignored it. I just don’t have the energy to tell people about themselves anymore. By people I mean men and by men I mean the strange men I attract.

So as I made my way back from my early dentist appointment where I was told I couldn’t eat for 2 hours afterwards I figured I better hit the road and do some shopping. This wasn’t my best look. I was in the only pair of jeans I own (I don’t understand jeans), trainers and my hair wasn’t saying much to the world except we weren’t that thorough with the comb that morning.  So imagine my horror when I came out of Waitrose waddling with 2 bags and saw The Chef.  He squinted his eyes in a ‘do I know you?’ way and I just looked away. This wasn’t going to be easy as I couldn’t slip into Bang and Olufsen with so much shopping. I considered my options and figured…I would have to out walk him.

Now, The Chef is tall and has long strides. I’m short and have shopping. But I wasn’t going to let this ghost catch me. I did what any self-respecting woman would do in my situation; I power walked the shit out of the Kings Road

I know it would be easier to have confronted him and told him not to call me with his nonsense but there was one thing stopping me. You can’t let the last image the person have of you being you looking rough and shopping. I now will have to meet up with him just to end it when I’m wearing a little black dress.

Hey, I don’t make the rules my precious. I’m just a slave to them. Drat! This means I have to start planning my local shop pop outfits better.

© Chelsea Black