Tag Archives: timewasters


disappearing acts


Categories: BLOG, DATING TIPS, Latest, Tags: , ,

Disappearing Acts

This is one film that I wanted to love but like every Terry McMillan book it just didn’t speak to me beyond the first 40 minutes of trying really hard to like it. But why am I talking about it? Because guys and their disappearing acts have become a chronic, global issue. No longer do they go out for a pack of cigarettes leaving you holding the baby and come back a few years later. Now it has become more virtual and immediate.

So you know when you’re talking to someone and they’re all keen and driving the relationship? You proceed with caution because you’re not sure that he’s worthy of time and effort but then you figure, why not he’s got bags of potential and then you let your guard down?

This my precious is the moment some men figure they have you and they can start acting like twats.

You know what I mean. What used to be regular BBMs and calls are now one a day if that and you’re wondering what happened? Where did it go wrong?  I tell you what happened. You stopped being a challenge. You became that woman that he knew he could have. You became too available. And if he disappears after sex well, yeah that’s what he wanted despite him waxing lyrical about ‘Our future.’

I hate playing games so if he calls and I’m home I will pick up. I won’t pick up every other call just so that he thinks I’m busy. Why deny myself? But apparently this is what you should do in the early stages because some men like to chase. Never be available on the weekend if he makes plans after Thursday. Huh? I never know what I’m doing more than 48 hours in advance. Well  those that know me know that I’m a planner but I love some spontaneous hooking up too.

My theory is simple. If a man likes to play games, is only with me because he thought I was a challenge and isn’t mature enough to express or explain his sudden disappearing acts then he’s got to get off the field. I give it 3 weeks of changed behaviour (busy at work is allowed you know) before I pull my investment and walk away with some losses but my dignity still intact.

The thing is that many a man is a timewaster because they can be. No woman is asking for a declaration of love in the first few months. But come on dudes, don’t mess around keeping her as an option without at least giving her a heads up as to where your head is at.

Rant over. I will instead regale you with tales of disappearing acts tomorrow.

© Chelsea Black


Positive lies men tell pt1


Categories: DATING TIPS, Latest, Tags: , ,

I was inspired by @Leftysbetta to write the positive lies men tell. The lies we want to believe because we see them on TV and films and songs from the 90s and somewhere deep down we think this is what love is. I guess the sad part is that they are so convincing we do believe them even when we know he’s a liar. But here’s an idea. When he does say something that sounds too good to be true and you don’t think the relationship or actions leading up to it warrant such a declaration please check the following:

A)     Ask him how many women have he said this to. Chances are he’ll look earnestly at you or look hurt and say, “No one else. You’re my first.” No man is a Lying Virgin. If he admits to using it before but says, “But this time I mean it!” then chances are he’s more of an honest liar.

B)      Is he willing to put his feelings in writing? I said to an ex “you know what I love? Love letters and made him write all that stuff down.” Turned into a wish list of sexual fantasies so I knew he was lying, bless.  Chances are he’ll pull a strop /sulk at this point and blame you for ruining a beautiful moment. Flash some tittie and tell him to get over it. I bet he does, quickly.

C)      If you haven’t slept with him in a while this may be his method of getting you to drop the panties. Hold off for 24 hours if you are suspicious of his motives. See how sincere he is. Bet he goes home soon after said declaration to spank the money instead.

D)     If you are in bed then chances are he’s suffering an overwhelming endorphin rush which will subside. Ask him to say it again as he wrestles you for the remote control later.

Ok we all set? Next page for the top 15. If you have any others send them to me via @Chelseablack on twitter or through the comments. Let’s Go! click here


© Chelsea Black

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