Disappearing Acts

This is one film that I wanted to love but like every Terry McMillan book it just didn’t speak to me beyond the first 40 minutes of trying really hard to like it. But why am I talking about it? Because guys and their disappearing acts have become a chronic, global issue. No longer do they go out for a pack of cigarettes leaving you holding the baby and come back a few years later. Now it has become more virtual and immediate.

So you know when you’re talking to someone and they’re all keen and driving the relationship? You proceed with caution because you’re not sure that he’s worthy of time and effort but then you figure, why not he’s got bags of potential and then you let your guard down?

This my precious is the moment some men figure they have you and they can start acting like twats.

You know what I mean. What used to be regular BBMs and calls are now one a day if that and you’re wondering what happened? Where did it go wrong?  I tell you what happened. You stopped being a challenge. You became that woman that he knew he could have. You became too available. And if he disappears after sex well, yeah that’s what he wanted despite him waxing lyrical about ‘Our future.’

I hate playing games so if he calls and I’m home I will pick up. I won’t pick up every other call just so that he thinks I’m busy. Why deny myself? But apparently this is what you should do in the early stages because some men like to chase. Never be available on the weekend if he makes plans after Thursday. Huh? I never know what I’m doing more than 48 hours in advance. Well  those that know me know that I’m a planner but I love some spontaneous hooking up too.

My theory is simple. If a man likes to play games, is only with me because he thought I was a challenge and isn’t mature enough to express or explain his sudden disappearing acts then he’s got to get off the field. I give it 3 weeks of changed behaviour (busy at work is allowed you know) before I pull my investment and walk away with some losses but my dignity still intact.

The thing is that many a man is a timewaster because they can be. No woman is asking for a declaration of love in the first few months. But come on dudes, don’t mess around keeping her as an option without at least giving her a heads up as to where your head is at.

Rant over. I will instead regale you with tales of disappearing acts tomorrow.

© Chelsea Black