Tag Archives: single


The singles mixer


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The singles mixer part 1

So the other day I helped organise a singles mixer. I know I’m unemployed and should be spending all of that time looking for a boring job that will make me bump into people on the commute because I’m angry at the world. Instead I delude myself into thinking that getting people together is much more important. Yes I have some issues. I’m being counselled by MBNA on it.

So there I was organising this mixer when I remembered an episode of SATC in which they took the guys they no longer wanted to date to a mixer. It was inspired. It meant that the numbers were even and let’s face it, one woman’s Primani is another woman’s Selfridges. It’s on the same street!

So this is mind, I posted it online and waited. Nothing . All the women I spoke to told me that it was a great idea but, they didn’t know any men . What did that mean? Then the usual excuses started.

“I don’t know any single men!” – this from those that date at least 5 times a month.

“All my male friends are married!” –Both of them right?

“I’m not comfortable bringing any ex to something like this.” – what about colleagues or cousins?

I see. So you want to meet new guys but you have nothing to bring to the party? I don’t understand this. You want to eat at the buffet but not bring even a salad or a dessert or store bought biscuits? But more on them later.

So I was stuck. I had a group of women and the legacy of singles events where women outnumber the men 3 to 1. I wasn’t going to go down like this. So I did what any woman on a mission would do….I dipped into my own archives.

I started with a text to every man in the phone. I didn’t care if they were exes, friends or people I wasn’t even sure how I knew they got a text. Then I went on Facebook and reconnected with men I barely say hi to but I knew they were single. A girlfriend would have made them change their status.  Some ignored it and others seemed insulted. Whatever, those were single but still in denial. Besides we are in a dating recession. No time to be precious. 2 of the exes said yes then messed me around on the day. Probably for the best as one tried to barter sex as a trade-off for his presence at the mixer. I had to explain to him how mixers worked. Besides, there was no way I was going anywhere near that explosive pistol again. The control was faulty.

But you know what…I now know who my true male friends are. 4 in particular came out and dragged their friends with them. I ended up with 11 guys and my friend Linda brought 1 too. Then there is the worry that they wouldn’t behave appropriately because you know men and curves in the same room. But they all did. I was so proud of them.

So this is a thank you kindly my male friends for supporting me. I will go on to talk about the women in the next blog. But let’s just say I know now why some are single.

Yeah I said it. And what?

© Chelsea Black


The Proposal The Prep

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Categories: DATING TIPS, Latest, Tags: , , , ,

A male friend of mine told me that it’s really hard to propose. I think I was supposed to be sympathetic but quite honestly I wanted to shout, “Try strapping an African and English wedding onto your shoulders, dude” These things aren’t easy in comparison.

But ok. Here are a few tips


“So what you saying? Should we do this or what?” Isn’t really going to crack it. Remember this: This story is going to be told again and again. It can either make you look amazing and get you loads of play OR it can be used against you EVERY time she wants to win argument. And that’s a lot. So best you think the setting the ring and the words out carefully. Romance can also make up for a slightly smaller ring than Madam would have wanted. The story trumps the ring.

I would stick to your own words as opposed to those used by great romantics if your delivery isn’t your strong point. If you have an amazing voice, musical ability now is the time to use it to draw some tears out of her. (Might I suggest an X Factor style audtion of said song choice to female friends in advance? They’ll tell you if you should lead with the song or just buy a bigger ring.

Setting is everything

My ex wanted to propose at Old Trafford. Whilst it is one of my favourite places in the world outside of Department stores, Champagne bars and bed I’m pleased he didn’t. He realised that being surrounded by a bunch of surly men berating the absence of Ole Gunner and eating meat pies the way I eat chocolate wasn’t a good choice. Besides we had nosebleed seats. Chances are in my excitement to see the ring I would have dropped it.

Outside is fine but please make sure she is appropriately dressed for that climb to the top of the mountain before embarking on this journey. Nothing says No like a drenched or sweaty woman whose heels have been ruined.

Family and friends is a gamble. In one way great she is pressured to say yes but on the other hand what if she pulls one of those faces that tells you the thought of marriage was the last thing on her mind? She just liked to bang you and thinks you’re a wasteman? Best do it in an intimate setting I suggest.


You can see more of this on Leap Year: The Ring but a tip on size is to steal one of hers that she wears on her ring finger or right hand if you don’t know the size. Better a bit bigger than smaller.

If you are unsure of her size then buy a cheap one and then go with her to choose the real one. This may prove more expensive though so best you ask her best friend or you steal a ring. I’m a K by the way, in case FuHu is reading this (that WAS 10 years ago and pre Haribos. Darling go for an M for Maxine and we can always resize)

A nice touch is to get it engraved. That suggests you aren’t planning on recycling. Yeah I’m STILL bitter. 😉

But no matter what don’t try to propose without some preparation. Nothing says No like her asking you why you didn’t ask her father first when she clearly sent you the email 6 months ago with his details. It sours the whole proposal.

Join in the discussion on Proposals and Leap year tonight on In Bed with Chelsea  #IBWC 10pm to midnight on www.playvybz.com


The proposal The timing

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Categories: DATING TIPS, Latest, Tags: , , , , , , , ,

It’s 29th of February so women are supposed to propose to the guy? Erm, not during a #datingrecession. Women are not about to buck tradition and get down on one rickety knee and I’ll tell you why…..it’s not our job to say when. That’s really the only thing you will ever have a say in again so fellas, own it. We do everything else. You just don’t always realise it bless you.

When is the right time to propose?

It’s tricky as we are all ready at different times but I personally reject all marriage proposals made within 3 weeks of meeting or before, during or after sex. Er, hello! You’re naked dude so where’s the ring? Clearly this isn’t well thought out. I’m partial to within 6-18 months though as after that you’re wondering into time waster zone. So the answer is

When you’re sure

I’m not a fan of the long engagement. Propose because you want to get married to HER not because she is pressurising you into a wedding before her Granny dies. Granny has been on death’s door since 1986 and I swear I saw her leading a congo at the last family bash so do it in your own time.  Most men say there is a moment when they know. Seize it and put that woman out of her misery. And it’s never cool to retract an engagement or to have an engagement portfolio.  One of my exes broke up with me and got engaged to someone else 2 weeks later. He’s now getting married to a 3rd lady. Good job rings can be recycled huh?

Make sure she’s sure

Best propose when you know she’s going to say yes! Don’t propose to make up after an argument, after you’ve cheated or when you’ve done one of your 2 week disappearing acts.  In the back of her head she will always wonder if the proposal was genuine. Besides some may just say no because she knows your mum just chucked you out and you are looking for a place to stay. That said some women really don’t want to get married. Either been there done that or can’t think of anything worse than shacked up to anyone. Or….maybe it’s just you?

But don’t take too long.

Hello! Eggs wait for no man. I’m fed up of speaking to men in their late 30s and 40s who still aren’t ready. Be honest, tell her she isn’t your future wife and let her get on with her life. Steal that one recipe that’s keeping you there or teach your little miss new boobs how to do the splits but don’t I beg you keep a woman waiting for ever. Wrinkles aren’t hard to photo shop but that desperate look of bitterness that you made her wait 6 years? Impossible. My motto is simple. Marriages don’t always last forever but wedding photos are for life! Don’t ruin them

Happy 29th February!

© Chelsea Black

Join in the discussion on Proposals and Marriage tonight on In Bed with Chelsea 10pm to midnight on www.playvybz.com


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