The singles mixer part 2
Ok so I’ve said something positive about the men. I know it hurt me more than it did you my precious. I don’t typically like to say anything positive about a man unless it involves chocolate or sex and in this case it involved neither!
But back to the women and the mixer.
First of all we are all single. Therefore we are in the same dating recession. I’ve been in mine for 3 years so I really don’t think you can pull the “It’s so hard out there” card without real hard evidence that you’re struggling to get even a Nandos. Some however clearly feel that they are less deserving of being in a dating recession than the rest of us.
There was the one who tried to cancel because she felt that she didn’t look good that day. I was clear. Slap on some lippy and get your arse over here now. Nothing was ruining my numbers. NOTHING
(I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge that yes, I am somewhat of a planning nazi. There is nothing casual or cool about me in this mode. This is how I will home school the kids FuHu so it’s all practise )
Then there was the small group who looked at the guys and declared there was nothing worthwhile in the room. WHAT! Hello! They guys had made an effort. Some of them are even cute. They were there looking dapper in their suits and were really gentleman like. Some downright shocked me as I’d never seen them be anything but jokey. I didn’t appreciate them cussing perfectly cool guys.
I found myself getting stressed, the ungrateful bitches. I had to do my exercises (count to ten and breathe black woman, breathe!) And then I looked at the women…it wasn’t me they were attacking. They were just lining up their excuses for when no one “picked” them. This was P.E. all over again. Except I could run fast so was picked near the beginning but I recognised that look on some of their faces. Here we were in our 30s (not me FuHu, I’m however old you want me to be) and they were still being picked last? No one wants to be picked last. And these women seemed to be the whole package. I could see that they too couldn’t understand the situation they were in.
So I had an easy icebreaker prepped to get everyone talking and the clique started moaning. It was too difficult apparently. They couldn’t do it. It involved talking to guys who were really friendly and in no way bitchy and yet some of them thought this was too hard? I wanted to slap a couple and say “you’re not 26 anymore chica, you’ve got to put in some effort and stop relying on your looks.” It was interesting being sober and on the outside looking in. I realised that I could hold the same event next year but the guys will have all hooked up whilst some of those women would still be single.
It was strange that whilst some were complaining I saw other women working the room getting numbers and Facebooks effortlessly. These were the ones who were able to put their insecurities aside and just have fun with it. And they were cleaning up whilst the others found reasons why they couldn’t do it.
Then there were those who left the event and then started texting and asking about guys AFTER they left. What did they think this was? If you can’t hope yourself up in a group this small then how are you going to sustain any type of dating communication? I wasn’t impressed.
As the night wrapped up we all headed out and as I had feared some of these women didn’t even know how to make small talk. The guys reported being grilled by some of the women and even the odd aggressive comment from a couple I recognised straight away as being from the catty clique from earlier that on.
So the mixer had mixed success. I don’t think those that really want out of the dating recession did anything but compound their situation. But for those who came for a laugh and a possibility….well I’m not one to gossip but I’ve heard stories. Well done you!
So those women if you are reading this please buck up and get your game together. No one else can do it for you
© Chelsea Black