Tag Archives: random

by

The British Gas Angel

No comments yet

Categories: Latest, Randoms, Tags:

He’s back!

So last night there was a horrible noise like someone was being choked and my bath water went cold…I figured this was just next doors plumbing going wrong but no it was mine. And so this morning as I woke up to a toasty bed (thank you lekky blanky) but a relatively cold house I made that call again to British Gas homecare. This as some of you know is a regular issue and they haven’t been able to figure out why which is all the more frustrating. I had begun to believe that they had put me on a mental health / potential sexual harassment list as I had only been getting the older service men since a complaint a couple of years ago. But today my precious they gave me Stu back. For the history of my relationship with Stu read here.

He never remembers me but I told him about our history. About him saving me from the cold Autumn of 2008 (I’m always cold) and me bursting into tears when he fixed my boiler after months of misery and cowboys. This home owning nonsense isn’t easy by yourself I tell you. I’m not good with being cold and I really don’t understand why others don’t get how my mood is intrinsically related to my mental health. Well British Gas know this now hence my suspicioun that they had placed me on their mental health list.

Today he walked in and yes he’s older, bit more weight on him and still the smell of a recently smoked cigarette but he was back! I reckon he’s in a happy relationship as he was whistling whilst he worked.  He’s no longer a boy but a man 4 years on.

And he figured out what has been wrong with my boiler all these months as well. He really is a star this guy and so once again I say thank you Stu for being you and saving this woman from feeling blue.

I see this as the end of the dating recession. I’ve been in this flat for 4 years and whenever Stu comes it changes my fortunes be it work and love. I’m going to take this as a sign from the universe that the fog has lifted and that there is an end in sight.

To warmth!

© Chelsea Black

by

Sex lies and rinsing guys the final part

1 comment

Categories: BLOG, Latest, Randoms, Tags: ,

Random: Sex Lies and Rinsing Guys part 4

The funniest thing has happened since this show was aired earlier this week. I wrote a few blogs on the subject which is something we women have been aware of for a long time but most of us avoid as a distasteful practise done by social climbers who think labels are to be worshipped. Bless them they don’t know that real money isn’t a rental property and stilt walking around Mansfield. But then the feedback was strange. See here for the comments.

Firstly some of you have erroneously come to the conclusion that either I have aspirations as a rinser or that I am jealous of rinsers. Purlease! If ever I decided to use my manipulation skills for evil I would do better than £30 earrings from Calvin Klein. I just have no desire to entertain men I consider to be stupid or vulnerable. Karma is a bitch, I’m in a dating recession so I REALLY can’t afford to take any risks.

Secondly some men have decided that this is the call to arms they needed to tighten the hold on their purses. Always suspicious of women who never pay for anything and yet offer nothing I think this silly programme highlighted their worst fears and now we must all start negotiating how dates are going to pan out financially. Trust me there are going to be battle lines drawn with both having to place their budgets next to their napkins in advance.

And thirdly a guy who had been rinsed for a pair of shoes told me why he did it. Apparently he has a thing for pleasing people and a picture of her in the shoes was nice and all but he just got turned on by buying them and at the thought of her wearing something he had bought. I guess I get it. Like when someone does something just for you and it’s between the two of you there is something about that which is emotive. Sexually emotive I’m not so sure but we all have different sexual triggers. This is just another one.

I really don’t know. It’s too complicated for my mind and I’ve never gotten anything worthwhile so clearly I’m not a natural. But he did say she was tiny and it was like dressing a Barbie doll. A size 3 shoe? Yes I can see how that would work. There is something playful but also a strange power dynamic to it all. We won’t go into the child like implications as I don’t think many consider that there is a thin Fraudian line there.

But I’ve rinsed this topic of rinsing and so on that note am out to explore other worlds of going out and sex etiquette beginning with the letter F. Oh and if anyone cares, I’m a size 6 shoe, 8 dress. ;)

© Chelsea Black

by

No sex, lies and rinsing guys part 3

No comments yet

Categories: BLOG, Latest, Randoms, Tags:

Signs of an amateur rinser part 3

It’s a thin line between being a rinser and a woman trying to work out what a guy is worth. Security is important after all. The difference I guess is that one will get sex and the other wont. I still don’t buy this no sex line unless they are a mini celebrity but I digress.

Now I know some rinsers. Not like the ones on last night’s show no because most of the ones I know have style. But there are the ones you spot on the nights out who have clear rinser written on them.  These are not the professional rinsers who are with wealthy men and there is a very openly secret view of what is expected of both parties. These women work alone and with discrection. They are your concubines, the mistresses, the other woman who knows how to play her role.

No these are the ones you will find hunting in packs on a night out looking for some idiot to take pity on them. So in a rare blog for those men who wouldn’t want to be victim to this art here are the warning signs. Don’t ever say I don’t look out for you

  1. She looks expensively put together but in a cheap way. There are few ways to make lycra look classier than it is. Normally she will have on more jewellery and less clothing. Her accessories are ostentatious.
  2. When you meet her she expects you to buy a drink. If she’s with friends she’ll expect that you buy for them as well and, despite the fact they were drinking coke before they go for the most expensive bottle of champagne there even though it tastes rank.
  3. When she is looking at a menu she goes straight to the more expensive items even if she doesn’t know how to pronounce it. If you suspect she is a rinser take her to a French restaurant.
  4. She is constantly on her phone. Apparently this is a critical part of being a rinser. You must be accessible at all times to the rest of your adoring fans even if you are on a date with others
  5. You is overly interested in your job and income. A passing interest is fine yes but any more in the first meeting is a bit much.
  6. She friend zones you immediately and yet initiates contact so feigning interest. Yes in your wallet but not in you dear.
  7. You tweets about shopping constantly and posts pictures of things she wants and yet isn’t a buyer for a major brand or a shopaholic.
  8. She will drop you if you suggest going dutch on a meal or not buying her what she NEEDS
  9. She will tell you how she’s struggling to make ends meet at the moment but never ever ask for a loan.
  10. Are you the one in your group that never really gets female attention and yet suddenly she is targeting you hard? Yes you’ve been hit as potentially insecure enough to fall for it.

Of course if you look showering women with gifts then do you pookie (and if you are fit call me) but if not then when you see these women, tap your wallets and run!

And we wonder why some guys are bitter. Happy rinsing!

 

© Chelsea Black

1 2 3 4 5