Tag Archives: online dating


Facebook faux pas – tortoise and hare

No comments yet

Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, BLOG, Latest, Tags: ,

So this is a conversation with a friend. I can’t lie. I’m starting to think they are the normal ones. But to be fair I was mainly just irritated by his pace in response. I mean quite honestly do they think we have nothing better to do than to wait 10 minutes for a response?

Him: hey

Me: hey dear

Him: hows u

Me: gosh this is going to be a slow conversation. Are you sure you are up for it. YAWN!

Him: yea i can go slow

Me: then we aren’t a match.

Him: haha

Him: lol

Me: I don’t chat slowly. Life is too short.

Him: well your not speaking fast

Him: clearly your idea of pace is distorted

Me: hey then 10 minutes silence isn’t going to work for me dear

Me: I’m just being upfront and open

Him: haha

Me: let’s not fall out when clearly you like to chat slowly!

Him: haha

Him: your a classic

Him: you should write an article on it

Me: I’m sorry but one answer chats are also a fail. I really wanted us to work

Him: loool

Me: on slow chatters.

Me: I’m sure I have somewhere a long time ago

Him: you should find it for me

Me: Grrrr same with the one worders

Me: I don’t have time

Me: Things to do lovely. I’m a busy woman

Him: ok

Me: but if I stumble across it I’ll send it to you

Him: do your thing miss busy

Me: Mwaah lovely and next time don’t just send me two short openers and we should be fine

Him:  you like them long

Him: i will take note

Me: I’m a size queen. Even in my chats it would seem, yes

Him: clearly….

Me: Grrrr! Stop it

Him: make me

Me: No. You wouldn’t be able to handle it. Bless ya

Him:  :/

Me: crapiola! An emoticon? That’s the 3rd fail. We can’t even be friends anymore. You have no chat etiquette

As you can see my precious I’m doomed. I’m not meant to be chatting online peut etre?

© Chelsea Black


facebook faux pas part 2


Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, BLOG, Latest, Tags: ,

Just so you all know that I’m not making up my frivolous facebook chats. I realise that it highlights my anxieties as well as his inability to realise that he was winding me up. I almost didn’t post this but, hey ho….Enjoy!

A year ago

HIM: hi chelsea what do you look like?

ME: random question from someone who also doesn’t have photos up?

HIM: i know that!! but i would like see how look send me a photo of you?

ME: Ok I’m not being difficult but we have never spoken. Why would I send a photo of myself to a stranger? This is quite irregular.


A year later


HIM: is that pic you with your hand on your head

ME: No. No photos of me at all


2 Days later


HIM: (in response to a moany update about work from me) Ok I hope everything at work works out for you stay bless

HIM: What kind of work do you do?

ME: Projects mainly. No job as such


HIM: Ok! would it be ok if we can talk on the phone sometimes

ME: what for?


HIM: I like to get to no you if that ok

ME: know me? Thanks dear but I don’t really get to “know” people through social media

HIM: Why that?

ME: It’s just a policy I have. I’ve done it before to no avail. But like I say thanks for reaching out

HIM: Their alway a first time for something new

HIM: You coming like a nice woman

HIM: You never no we can become good friends

ME: I am nice but that doesn’t mean I want to get to know you better.

HIM: That true!

HIM: If I send my number would I here from you

HIM: You never no you might end up liking me lol

HIM: I hope I’m not been to forward

ME: No. I can’t. Your spelling is driving me crazy

Me: are you doing it on purpose?


After a silence



HIM: Your giving me joke

ME: OMG stop spelling everything incorrectly. It’s too much

HIM: Sirry

HIM: I mean to say sorry

ME: hmmmm am I being punked?

HIM: Lol

HIM: May be I should to talk you on the phone then

ME: No, I know enough dear.

HIM: Like what?

ME: Your spelling drives me crazy. And you’re persistent. I can’t. I’m neurotic about writing.

HIM: It’s this iPhone

ME: No these are grammatical errors. Their instead of there, Your instead of you’re etc. I can’t

HIM: What wrong in me being a bit persistent

ME: Just premature based on one day of interaction

HIM: We need more than one day to get to no someone

ME: KNOW!!! not NO!. OMG.

HIM: I’m say it short that all

ME: Don’t. It isn’t right. OK I’m going to do something else.

HIM: Like what?

ME: Talk to someone whose grammar isn’t giving me anxiety attacks

HIM: I must be giving you some joke

ME: No you really aren’t.


HIM: I talk to you tomorrow if that ok


Long silence from me


HIM: Don’t want to talk me again lol good night

ME: night

HIM: So we talk later?

ME: no

HIM: Why not?

ME: What for? I told you no and you’re still trying it.

HIM: I just have a feeling your a good lady

ME: you’re! see what I mean?

HIM: I’m just saying that all you don’t have to look to deep in to it.


Runs off to scream into the Chelsea Moon. I can’t do it.

© Chelsea Black

%d bloggers like this: