That is the on going first date question. Is it fair that we women still expect that a man picks up the first date tab? And what in same sex relationships how do you decide who is to pay? Until the salaries in the UK are equal then I don’t expect that my view on his paying will change.  I’m assuming this is why there is a disparity?

Dating rules are contradictory and many don’t follow them anyway but this one seems to be close to people’s hearts as I saw on a Facebook post recently. So there are a number of ways you can decide on this:

Go Dutch

Agree to pay half in advance. Both of you can relax and not worry about what the other is ordering. This doesn’t mean pouring over the items on the bill and paying for what you had. Just split it down the middle. Yes one of you may have drunk a wee bit more than the other (it wasn’t happy hour prices) or someone may not have had a dessert (pretending you eat like a bird?) but let it go already.

Going Dutch is also great for a guy you never ever want to see again.

The Reach game

He reaches for the bill, you reach for your purse, he insists you graciously accept and say you’ll get it next time. You’ve already decided that you will never see his dumb ass again but it’s the gesture that counts. I had one who never reached for his wallet. We just sat there looking at the bill. The waiter came around 3 times before I just put my card on the bill. He smiled and that was the last time I saw him. Dinner and the venue were his suggestion and the bill was less than £40!

The choice is yours

So maybe don’t tell him that Oxo or Asia de Cuba are your favourite spots. I suggested Asia de Cuba to a guy I met on Facebook. He was coming in from out of town and you share the dishes so to me, it’s really not expensive. He freaked out and that was the end of him. Let’s ignore the fact that he had some recent addiction and self-esteem issues.  I’m guessing £20 for a main course was just too much when you can get a meal for two at Nandos for that.

So choose somewhere that is affordable for one person to pay for two and he won’t resent it if you sent him photos pre baby 5 years ago. Yes my precious some women online lie too. I know some men want to impress but dudes keep within your budget and if in doubt you choose the wine.

You ask you pay

If you invite him on a date then you should really pay and vice versa.

So that’s it. Paying on the first date. Don’t make it a thing. But know that if he’s happy for you to pay for the whole date, well you need to grab your purse and run! This man isn’t for you.

Happy Dating!

© Chelsea Black