Tag Archives: etiquette

A-Sexy F is for Facebook and Dating Value

So a lot has been made in the press recently about Facebook and it’s over valuation, those that benefited from it and those that have lost out. I’m no Economist and I don’t understand business models that are based on perceived value as opposed to revenue but that’s just me not caring enough. I need money that will pay my mortgage not highly geared income that could bite me on the butt in a recession when that perceived value drops. But that’s just me.

It got me thinking about the value we place on ourselves in this dating market. At the moment it would seem that the stock that is most in demand but in low supply is the Eligible Man. Films like Think Like a Man show women who are not without their own lives settling for relationships where the men are not quite ready to commit to them. Oh it’s a good time to be a man if you have your shit together. Even if you don’t some women will speculate that you are a good investment and possibly put some capital into you to make it so. Women love a project.

Then you have the stock that used to be attractive but is in over supply. The Indepedent Woman. Again there are two perceptions here; that of the market and your own. No one cares how good you actually are as a girlfriend or a wife so long as the perception is that you are as some people say “Wifey.”

But as I go out and about I realise that there is an oversupply of single women of a certain age. Part of the reason is that to be a single man is not deemed as a failure to find a suitable partner whereas Spinster doesn’t have the same ring to it. Or the extreme lack of a ring at all in many cases.  The other reason is that feminism means that educationally and skill wise we are able to do what Destiny’s Child have been telling us we do which is pay our own Bills, Bills, Bills. We are independent and so value our stock based on our education, looks, age. But men don’t value our stock in the same way and they are the ones who valuation matters to some degree if they are going to buy our stock.

This saddens me as looks and age aren’t my friends so I have had to accept a plummet in my stock in recent years. However, fear not ladies with a little self adjustment this doesn’t mean we have to under value ourselves. No, we just have to accept that we are not going to be a stock that everyone wants to buy. We are like that million pound property that stays on the market for ages but gets one owner who adores it because they recognise it’s worth. (Yes I realise that the analogy has slipped but I did mention my Economics knowledge was limited at best)

I just hope FuHu buys before the subsidence kicks in.

© Chelsea Black

Plenty of Fish

So I woke up this morning after my Friday night in and there were a few new messages in my plenty of fish inbox. Oooh goody, it’s like having a virtual assistant that works for you in India whilst you sleep. Maybe this time my plenty of fish experience wouldn’t be so bad. I mean it’s for the book so I can justify it as research and not take it so personally when some don’t respond or say something so stupid like “I love black girls.”

But then POF and I broke up years ago. It was after a particularly traumatic conversation with a guy who couldn’t remember that we had spoken before. He then berated me for not keeping in touch and being interested. Huh? Yes I was in conversation with those whose glass is cracked. It’s not easy.

Yes there are plenty of fish but these are fish that either want to devour you or don’t know what they want. I’m glad to see that they now have a sex personals section as I’m tired of saying no, I don’t want you to make an excuse to your wife about working in London. That will mean you will have to stay over and…hold on why am I even considering it!

Then I clicked on the first one. At first I thought it was a picture of his butt. Original if not a little creepy is what I thought but no, as I clicked on his profile I realised it was a shirtless picture of him reclining with the biggest pectoral muscles ever. Hmmmm, this was his profile picture? I wasn’t convinced but maybe the message would sway me that we were indeed a match. I opened it

“u kl?”

This isn’t a message dude it’s a typo. I don’t think I can take much more of this

Next !

© Chelsea Black

A-Sexy: F is for Friday night in OR Why I don’t internet date

So for the sake of some research I’ve been forced to go back to online dating. Trust me this is not something I’m doing willingly. I’m going to have to share my despair.

I signed up filled in all of the BS crap that one has to and uploaded a picture. Surprisingly in a dating recession I got 4 emails back almost immediately.  The photo isn’t that flattering. So here you have them

The 1^st email was from a 5’5 white guy who was clearly obsessed with the gym

Ok I want to explore you ;p

I don’t know what I’m meant to do with this because my desire to conquer him isn’t there. He would fit into my purse, muscles and all.

2^nd email I received was this one. THIS is why I don’t internet date.Oh and the fact that I can’t stand seeing how dire it is on there. Seriously dude? SERIOUSLY!

Hello my name is XXXX how are you doing i was looking on YYYYY and i saw you and thought to my self wow what are you doing on hear i am supprised to see a loving good looking woman on hear like you well i am mixed race i am single i live on my own i do security work i also teach self defences i love movies and some times going out for a drink, love art. so tell me about your self what you like to do were you like to go and whats your fav food are you a sporty person or a fashon well its up to you tell me what do you wont from your man to be.xXx this is my personal email

XXXX@hotmail.co.uk thanks for reading this xXx

I would like to add that XXXX lists some university as his education. How!

He is also an occasional smoker (weed by the picture) who is 41 (read 46) and 5’11 (read 5’7)

The next one I opened said the following: He lives with his partner so of course DVDs at his would not be an option.

I’m a white male,41,5’11,medium build,8″,looking for a female(any race),for nsa meet(s) for sexual fun & games. I can’t accommodate but can/will travel. If you’re interested & after the same get back to me with your details, etc & we can chat. Ask if there’s anything you want to know & i might tell you . Only contact me if you genuinely want to meet. Hope to hear from you soon. If not, good luck .

Is it wrong that I’m just happy that I can read it without wincing at the spelling?

Then I got this one

Wow ..wat a beauty!. Dame u’re cute.. i would love to hook up with u to get to know u , if u don’t mine.pls..i like ur style and ur sweet smile

Even my parents who are invested will tell you that  I’m not a beauty and this is an obvious cut and paste job. He is in his 40s. Way too old to be using this sort of spelling surely. And too lazy to personalise the message?

So research or not I’m still not a fan of internet dating. It is flawed. Let’s find something new please people I implore you.

Bangs head repeatedly on the laptop. Somebody save me from this hell!

© Chelsea Black