March 14, 2012 by

Suck it and see

3 comments

Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, DATING TIPS, Latest

A-Sexy B is for Blow jobs

Ladies we need to talk. Yes you my precious. So what’s this I hear about you persisting with the special occasion only blow jobs? How on earth are you going to get better? Let me tell you something. You want to give your man as many blow jobs as you can so that you can learn how to make him come quickly and without you having to get undressed? Flash a little tittie if he’s had a stressful day but less is usually more. Why?!? So that he can fall asleep then relinquish the remote control to you and your TV programmes or that book you’ve been dying to finish. So unless you have mastered the art of giving this level of blow job your work here truly isn’t done.

Once in my teens I was giving a bad blow job (you know the kind where you stare vacantly into the distance and look at it like it’s a diseased banana)  and my partner asked what was wrong. I told him how much I hated doing it. I told him about the guys before him who had face f**ked me and made me gag without warning and totally put me off.  And then he said those fateful words that stuck with me. “Well don’t do it if you don’t like it.” Looking back I think he was saying  I was really bad at it but how was I to know that men could do subtle nuance? Well that was it. I then began a number of years of being blow job free. It was so exhilarating! I just told men I don’t do that, smiled sweetly and went about my business. Then I met a partner who REALLY liked it and looked perplexed by my zero tolerance on his hands on my head. I gave him the same line about hating it and he said, “that’s fine. But I love it and I WILL be getting it. If not from you then from someone else.” Shocked into competitive Chelsea mode despite knowing that this was his tactic I knew it was time to get over myself. I went home that night and googled BJs. This was not going to be a core competency that I didn’t have.  I spoke to call girls, looked up gay websites, because who better to show you how to blow than another man, and bought books. I’ve even been on a blow job class. Sadly, no live male models.

So I know why you don’t want to do it. I’m totally with you on this one. Firstly the musky smell. Men and evening baths aren’t friends like we are. They caress their little friend  loveingly for ages in their morning shower yes but by the evening musk is the number one scent.  Gone are the days where he would shower first. No now you are meant to accept that musk is part of the fun. But you know what? You’re gonna have to get used to it. Unless he’s just come back from football practise in which case a shower together is best. But I digress.

The other reason you want to get into this is because it gives you a rest. Sometimes you don’t want hours of great sex without some sort of union break. The blow job is the perfect union break. And how else are you going to get him to go down on you if you can’t show enthusiasm for his most prized possession? We give to receive, be rewarded and to rest. Never forget this mantra.

The other day I wrote about my friend who hadn’t given her man a blowie in 2012 and it was the first week of March. I made my disappointment and anger known. As women we have to deliver. Then if ever there is a failure in the relationship you can rest easy knowing you gave your all and that it’s his entire fault. It is ANYWAY but he really can’t argue with you. And his friends will back you up in any argument. “Yeah but bruv, she gave you blow jobs ALL THE TIME! She’s a keeper”

There are two basic blow jobs. The one he endures but it’s doing very little for him bcause you are enduring it. And then the one he really enjoys because it’s all about him. Usually when you’re more enthusiastic and focused on his pleasure. Neither of these guarantees a result. He’s not in control so it’s all on you. No pressure sweetie. But this isn’t one of those negotiable sex skills. And you want to make sure that you’ve got this one.  Sojust suck it and see!

© Chelsea Black A-Sexy

Join us tonight on www.playvybz.com for In Bed with Chelsea from 10pm to midnight.

 

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups

3 Responses to Suck it and see

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: