March 9, 2012 by

Spank dat ass

2 comments

Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, DATING TIPS, Latest, Tags: , ,

A is for: Ass vs Arse

This entry is as short as the word. My name is Chelsea and….. I can’t say ass. I can write it but whenever I try to say it my mouth stretches weirdly and I think of Shakespeare or donkey’s. So the words “spank that ass” are not part of my vocabulary. I’m sorry my precious but I’m flawed.

Enter Mr reality porn who was most upset when he kept asking me questions during a session and I wasn’t realistic enough in my responses. The worst crime apparently was my inability to say ass. Instead he would describe things he would want to do to it. I would roll my eyes in boredom and say yeah do it or the worse crime, I would call it an arse. It ruined it for him and made it hard for him to ….be in the moment. This is the weakest excuse I’ve ever heard for him coming and me not but, I understand the male ego is fragile and must be protected by any excuse necessary.

Now, I understand that we all have our fantasies and I’m all for getting into character but, I’m not an actress and my accents are awful. So you say tomayto and I say tomato. Unless you give me a script in advance this isn’t a debatable point. Just be happy that I’m not laughing you out of the room with your dodgy American accent and penchant for keeping on your socks. I hate that!

Happy Dirty Talking

©Chelsea Black A-Sexy

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups

2 Responses to Spank dat ass

    • chelseablack Post author

      I really dislike this practise. Especially white sports socks. It’s like you’re about to leave. That said I’ve seen some of y’all’s feet. Those socks NEED to stay on 😉

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