A-Sexy: C is for couples part 1

I love being single most of the time. But if the perfect man came along I would give up singledom and rock that couples gig like Freddie Mercury.  I enjoy both states of being for different reasons. I have a friend whose marriage has made me cry on occasion. So beautiful a union is rare to come by and I adore spending time around them because I feel the genuine love in that family.

And then, there are those other couples. I have a few couple issues and it comes from their treatment of me as a single woman.

Let us start with the SMUG couples. You know those that have found love and now feel that they can tell you about what you are doing wrong and how you too could find the bliss that they have? When did I sign up for the sanctimonious therapy? Let us be clear, not too many months ago you were on that chocolate and champagne therapy with me complaining about the latest wasteman who had pulled a disappearing act or the dude that wouldn’t commit. Now that you finally met a man who seems to want to stay beyond breakfast you think you have it all figured out? Go do one.

There are two reasons I hate this type of couple. The assumption that someone wants to commit to you doesn’t make you an expert on what I’m doing. You haven’t figured out some secret that I’m not aware of. You’ve just met a grownup who thinks you rock which is how it should be. But an expert on men and relationships you are not. Maybe you are an expert on your relationship.  And even then I’m not so sure with some of the questions you ask.

Secondly I love that you are happy. I never ever begrudge someone happiness. But chick you can call your girl once in a while. And not when you and Mr. Man are having arguments. It irks me that you no longer share the good news with me but only the bad news. I think “he’s cheating” is not the way to start a conversation after months of neglect. So over this nonsense!

Honeymoon period aside, you never to have a balance in your relationships because as I’ve said before men NEVER leave their boys behind. They meet every week for a pint, football or some sort of favour that really means a catch up so that their relationship stays intact! But you? You disappear then boomerang back when things are looking shaky? Not cool my precious.

Oh and that pitying look thing you do when I say I’m still single or another hopeful romance hasn’t quite worked out? You need to axe that. Despite your own bliss I’m ok…most of the time.

So the etiquette is clear. When a soldier surrenders to the enemy camp for love and all that mushy stuff I’m happy for you but don’t be smug. That singlehood boomerang could soon come around and knock you out again.

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups