May 7, 2012 by

Signs of a de facto girlfriend.

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Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, BLOG, Latest, Tags:

A – sexy: D is for De facto girlfriends

Please note that this is different from friendzone and in some ways more dangerous because the interaction is more physical and emotional especially if sex is involved. But here are some key signs that you are indeed a de facto girlfriend:

1)      He never ever refers to you as his girlfriend. You’re a great friend.

2)      He assumes that you are always available at his convenience. This includes bootycalls

3)      You are his substitute plus one when the girl he yearns for isn’t free

4)      There are long gaps in between your interaction which he thinks is normal and doesn’t even warrant an explanation or an reason.

5)      He mainly calls to talk about himself and give you excuses for his lame behaviour.

6)      He calls to talk about other women then suggests he comes round for sex

7)      He calls when he is horny, bored or been let down by the girls he really wants

8)      He says things like he’s not ready to be a boyfriend and yet treats the women he likes with respect

9)      He never ever calls when it’s your birthday, you had a job interview or you’ve had a bad day. He doesn’t remember, he doesn’t care and he doesn’t want to get emotional.

10)   All of your interactions are spontaneous and he doesn’t plan anything.

11)   He’s always apologising but with insincerity like he doesn’t owe you an explanation.

12)   He doesn’t seem to be able to communicate when he’s busy with work but you see him on Twitter or Facebook.

13)   He is never clear about what you are and refuses to define it.

14)   He says things like “we’re cool yeah?” and disappears if you demonstrate any emotion. God forbid you have a period.

15)   Everyone thinks you’re dating and are surprised when you say no.

So the thing is that if you find yourself in this situation my precious you need to grab your purse and run. The key issues are that he doesn’t respect you that much, he’s not that into you and that you have created a situation that cannot be changed. Rarely does a De Facto become a real girlfriend because in his mind you never had that potential. This could be visual or because he assumes you are a good time girl only. Men Madonna Whore their female interactions and if you’re not a potential Madonna then you’re just a whore he treats a little bit nicely. And yet he gives the impression that one day, if you work really hard and don’t nag or make him feel uncomfortable, if you just chill, be cool and don’t ever EVER demonstrate your emotions you could be his girlfriend. One day. If you behave.

Fuck you, this will never happen.

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups

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