A – Sexy:  B is for Bitches

This is another suggestion from the site for Bs (Thank you Purple African Princess). It takes a lot for me to call a woman a bitch but there are circumstances when I think, yeah she’s a bitch. But don’t worry ladies this is a short one. Because like Mary Poppins we are practically perfect. Sometimes we can be conniving, selfish and insecure but these aren’t the same as the 10 examples below which to me are just plain evil.  The rest of the time I will assume that individuals are exhibiting signs of bitchiness but they are not terminal or chronic bitches. Big difference as we’ve all have our moments. (Whole other blog)

Disclaimer:

DO NOT call your current squeezes ex a bitch.  I don’t care how mad the stories are ….chances are he’s not blameless. I’ve had men regale me with stories of their bitches of an ex and immediately I’m put off. Cos the moment I dump them I will become that bitch he rants about. (trust me dude I’ll give you good reason to bitch if you mess with me)

So never trust a bitter man who calls women bitches ESPECIALLY the mother of his children. But we’ll discuss Baby mamas vs Mother of my kids later. Back to Bitches!

  1. If she constantly uses the kids to spite him just because he has a new woman and it’s to the detriment of the kids. She’s a bitch. I’m with Social services on this one. The best interest of the kids comes first. This means seeing the Dad even if he is a bit of a knob.  Kids don’t know he’s a knob ‘til much, much later. They just think he lives in McDonalds.
  2. If she regularly leads a man on knowing she has no intentions of ever letting him hit it then yeah, she’s a bitch. Just say you want a lift home. No need to indicate that you’re going to put out, get naked then renege because you’re tired. Some other woman is going to have to deal with his frustration.
  3. If she tells you that she can’t have kids, never wants to have kids and has had a hysterectomy, makes you both go for STD tests then 2-3 months later she is pregnant with twins? She’s a bitch.
  4. If you go clubbing with her and point out the man you’ve been crushing on for a good 8 months and she says “I know his friend. Let me go say hi, warm him up for you” then 5 minutes later they are snogging and going home together? She’s a bitch.
  5. If she agrees to go out with a guy knowing full well that she’s pregnant with someone else’s kid and never ever intends to tell him. She’s a bitch.
  6. If she lies about being pregnant for attention or to get a man to stay out of a sense of responsibily she’s a bitch. Worse is if she then tries to get pregnant. He’s thinking “wow the hormones are making her horny!” No dude, that kid will be a good few weeks overdue.
  7. If she steals your bankcard and draws out the last of your money then disappears, she’s a bitch. 14 years later and her conscious hasn’t made her pay me back? Yeah I’m still screwing about it, bitch.
  8. If she uses her milkshake to bring all the boys to the yard to heel and doesn’t even let you have her sloppy seconds…she’s a bitch. And worse if she is in a relationship but still wants every guy to like her. Even that nerdy geek one that no one wants but you! (If I have misinterpreted the lyrics of this song please forgive me. I still don’t really know what milkshake is)
  9. If she is never there when you need her and yet expects you to drop everything when she breaks a nail then yeah she’s a bitch of a friend and needs to go.
  10. If she swears up and down that she never slept with your man and then you find her panties that you bought together on a shopping trip at his place?…She’s a bitch!

In terms of etiquette I would tell men to avoid bitches but alas you are drawn to them like an over eater to excuses. And it’s not because it’s that time of the month. Some women are like that full time.

But you know my precious that I love you and know that the bitch is a rare breed of women. The sort of women many men seem to gravitate towards but, we know better. We just can’t say anything for fear of being labelled a BITCH!

Oh that was longer than I thought. Oops!

© Chelsea Black A-Sexy

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups