African Uncle
African Uncle

So as most of you know I’ve been visiting towns and cities in the UK gigging. Mike and the Mechanics’s Out of the Blue comes out next Friday and I really love that song. It’s basically about love finding you instead of you searching for it? It resonates in a 90s, passive, do we really know what love is type of way. Trust me after my experiences I’ll never Tinder or internet date again. I miss the randomness of love.  

Anyway a few gigs in and I’m thinking, I need to be more open as to how love will find me. I’ve stopped looking.  Who knews when and where ? Let love in Chelsea. The hotel bathroom pep talks are immense.

Today I’m on the bus from Clapham Junction listening to said new single and bopping along oblivious to anyone else on the bus. This is normal. I don’t check for people on public transport. I’ve just got off a train from Southampton with a bunch of drunk Pompey fans. I know how to zone dudes out.

As I’m walking off the bus I feel someone behind me. Call it women’s spidey senses. People think women make up street harassment because apparently, we have time on our hands. Others think we shouldn’t wear leggings as it temps them. I was in jeggings so there!

This African dude is at least 20 years older than me and has lived a mediocre  life judging by his face and grey hairs. I don’t judge your journey until you interrupt me. We can’t have anything to say to each other.  He mouths something to me and I reluctantly take out my ear phones and give him the international sign for ‘huh?’.

He comes over and says, ‘You look familiar.’ He looks down at my jeggings then back up with a subtle come hither look that nobody wants to see.

Uncle! Why are we still using the, ‘don’t I know you from somewhere’ line? Why are you following women off buses like this is normal and / or acceptable behaviour. Why is your wedding ring not on anymore? Why aren’t you slick? Has any woman responded and then taken you home for sex? I am not understanding this.

I tell him assertively that we don’ t know each other and can’t possibly. He steps back hurt like I gut punched him in the heart. I walk on. Turning around I see him making his way back to the bus stop?So, you literally got off the bus to take a chance on a stranger. That’s bold. Wastemen are audacious little shits sometimes.

But alas, I’ m sorry universe but this is NOT my out of the blue moment. I beg we do better than some random old dude on the 49 bus. But, I’m not giving up on love. Let me listen to my song again and we’ll reset this like the clocks are going back instead of forward.

Happy Mother’s Day!

© Chelsea Black 2019

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups