Before I tell you about the Judge I had to make a quick comment about the opening ceremony. Apart from James Bond and the Queen jumping out of a helicopter I just thought, someone is going to get fired. It was pitiful. You know it’s bad when they’ve got children jumping on the bed and more wheelchairs than Health and safety permits circling a molehill type structure. They brought out the big guns like Rowan Atkinson and JK Rowling and Paul McCartney and …..Oh yes internationally renowned Dizzee. What I didn’t get was the whole ode to social media. How did the guy call a girl to say he had her phone then end up snogging her in front of the world? Who was the Diversity consultant who insisted on Asians and Blacks in the Industrial Dickens dance off and a mixed race family in the Social Media mess? I just didn’t get it

Of course my lack of enjoyment wasn’t helped by being at Veranda bar in Brixton where the signal for the TV was temperamental at best and one of the bartenders kept having to give the loose wires  a good old shake to get the signal back. What nonsense is that!! This is one of the most televised events of the year after the Jubilee I’m sure . But alas Veranda is one of those places you know to go for food but not for much else.

Bits I loved was the Queen seemingly tweeting or sleeping as United Kingdom team came around. Bloody hell how long was the country parade! And according to that there are hardly any black people in Zimbabwe and South Africa – my favourite country was the Independent Athletes who tried to cobble together a dance off last minute and failed but were the most enthusiastic. Some of the athletes looked tired just walking around or holding the flag which doesn’t bode well for their performance.

I also wasn’t sure why Muhammed Ali was brought along. Let the man rest people. Surprised they didn’t helicoptor in Mandela. I loved David Beckham and Steve Redgraves serious torch exchange in the bobbing boat but who lit the torch? Some random people in black tracksuits. What was that about? KMT.

Wardrobe is also going to get fired. White tracksuits with gold shoulder pads for the British Team. That’s just cruel when you know some people will never see a medal let alone a gold.

Anyhoo the Games have begun I guess. I now have to navigate my way around London avoiding the cycling in my area. Have a glorious day people!

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups