My alternative valentine's date

So every year I go on big around Valentine’s day and get myself all in a tizz because the other person hasn’t bothered to recognise my need for the OTT.  There are so many bad Valentine’s dates that I can’t be arsed to retell them all. But you’ll find them here and here and here and …..you get my point?

This year however I’ve ended up with an alternative date. I’ve been on a Counsellors waiting list for about 6 months and, I finally got a slot. But on Valentine’s day? At first, I was apprehensive. I don’t fancy spending an hour of my precious day lamenting and being introspective. But, maybe it’s exactly what I need to tick the ever-oppressive self-care box. Yes, we all have to put in our self-care hours. It’s work being this self-loved.

Valentine’s is one of my favourite holidays. I always try to book the day off to plot. Like my birthdays, it’s a bit of a thing. I exert the same amount of time and energy on V day as some do on Thanksgiving or Christmas day. Hmmmm maybe I should make a turkey.

I’ve planned my day accordingly and inadvertently written a guide to a perfect Valentine’s day. I was going to lie and add in a run or some shit but, let’s face it, this is a total me day.

  1. Booked the day off so that I don’t have to deal with the benign questions at work.

 “Did you get anything? Any secret admirers? Nothing? Awwww, my husband spoilt me with [add something basic and boring here] and we’re going out to [add High Street restaurant with inflated Valentine’s day menu here] tonight because, he knows not to would end in me sulking for days. So, nothing again? Awwww maybe next year!”  Yeah I could do without that shit. So I’ll be at home.

2. Wake up late and have me time with lekky blanket and some erotica.  If the neighbours are out at work then I may even be able to watch some porn with the volume on normal. Result!

3 Get up and have a brunch. Ingredients bought. Not going to attempt hollandaise sauce again as why ruin a perfect day with some recipe that doesn’t love me back? Sticking to a full English without mushrooms as they are evil.  

4. Go meet the new counsellor and express my inner feelings for 50 minutes and pay for an hour. Exciting! It’s like a blind date but only one of you is nervous.  I hope she likes me.

5. Come home and put on a pot of chilli. It’s winter. I need my comfort food. Yes, it’s a chilli and chocolate night ahead.

6. Ooooh need to put in some bakes as well for the weekend. Let me do that before I forget.

7. Catch up on everyone else’s V day. I actually love hearing about all the antics.

8. Long bath with left over Lush bath bomb.

9. Chilli and chill. I haven’t chosen a book but, maybe Crazy Rich Asians? Sounds perfect.

10. I could go out with friends but avoid restaurants with closely assembled tables? I dunno. It’s winter. I will have my chilli

11. Listen to music. This is a constant background to the day but sometimes, before bed, I do like a naked lounge dance.

12. Sleep knowing that I had the perfect day and no man to ruin my high expectations with his mediocre ones.

You could do anything  that will make your day perfect but beware the negative energy frenemies who will try to make you feel like your day should be about another person. Why? Because they don’t feel complete without one. Maybe just be happy that you can do what you want and not have to worry about what someone else wants to do. Usually they don’t want to do anything anyway and it’s all a bit forced.

Having read this back this sounds like a typical Sunday if I’m honest. I’ll throw in an Amazon gift to myself. I DO need a new printer.

Happy Valentine’s day all. I’m off to make a youtube mix for tomorrow. I’ll let you know how the date with the Counsellor goes….maybe x  

© Chelsea Black 2019 6 Colorful A

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups