Mr Pound Land
So NYE and I was preparing for my party so had to do my bi annual trip to Pound World / Pound Land. This is a stressful time of year for all of us as, nobody likes to forget anything and have to make a second trip into that jungle of unnecessary shopping.
Anyhoo, I was in my normal uniform of leggings, boots and a short jacket when I entered and grabbed a wheelie basket. No sooner as I’d chucked bin liners in there then I heard, “hello.” It sounded closer than I’d like so I turned around only to see one Uncle from West Africa and a family of women clearly planning a spring clean of their whole house.
Turning back I moved further down the aisle to the air fresheners. Too much choice. Did I want Cherry Blossom, Orchid or Wild Berry. I had just decided Wild Berry when Uncle said, “Hello, Can I talk to you please?
Turns out Uncle spotted me coming into the shop and followed my bum in. We start the merry dance. Am I seeing someone. I say yes. Can we be friends. I say no. He says why. I say because I’m seeing someone. And I already have too many male friends who aren’t really male friends. This confuses him and he pauses. I take this opportunity to move to the party section.
He then accompanies me through 2.5 aisles asking questions about my party. The plastic cups and plates give it away. I think he was sniffing around for an invitation. I ask him if he’s buying anything and he admits, no. So this dude just follows women into shops randomly and sparks up conversation?
I blame the leggings.
Eventually he realises that I’m not talking to him and he asks for the number. I say no. He says why. I ask, haven’t we been through this before? He looks perplexed like he can’t remember. It was 2 minutes ago. And so I walk away wondering who juju’d me to get this level of nonsense goat attention. I know we are meant to be open but, I don’t want a creepy Uncle with no game and a confused look on his face.
Next time I’m caught out like this I’m just going to go straight to the female hygiene section and regale them with stories about how exhausting bleeding like a stuffed dinosaur is and should I get the super plus plus ones?
Happy New Year my precious x
© Chelsea Black 2016