Moans from Morocco

So randomly I decided that I deserved a short break and booked myself a holiday in Marrakech. The longest part of this decision was deciding where to go as I needed to get more tier points AND sun without wasting a day travelling. I know, I’m a slave to reward schemes.

Anyhoo after disregarding Malaga, Malta and Nice (apparently there was snow on the beach so I was thankful) I opted for one of those flight + hotel deals. Note to self: I’m waaay too fussy for this way of living. Next time I’ll just do flights.

I get there after a snowy delay at Gatwick and you have to then run the taxi gauntlet which is basically them trying to rip you off by telling you there’s 50% more now. I was made to stand and wait for 25 minutes with a black guy so I’m guessing that’s black man’s corner?

After a harrowing taxi I get to my hotel and it’s fine. I can’t complain. But then, there’s always something so here are my tips for surviving Marrakech

Take your own loo roll. Their 5 star hotel one ply is not the one.

Book a shuttle taxi with the hotel and be greeted by a banner with your name. Nobody needs that level of aggro after a 5 hour sit down on the plane (3.5 hour flight but with Gatwick delays)

At the airport they will try to tell you to take out £300. Don’t. Unless you like overpriced rugs and haggling with professional liars. £150 is enough for 3 days.

They’re not ready for gluten free living. Their ‘bread’ was more hard biscuits scone-ish and inedible. Just go for a tagine with rice instead of couscous and hope for the best.  And pack gluten free biscuits.

Ask for a room with a  sun facing balcony. And not on the ground floor. Lots of wanderers apparently walking into the wrong rooms

Marrakech has caught on and is not overpriced. Book everything through the hotel such as taxis and try not to be resentful at the stench of cat pissed streets.

The guys are aggressive but as a black woman not so much with me. I think this was partly to do with their love or western money. Great for a solo pool getaway though.

Would I go back? Nope! But I’m glad I’ve ticked it off the bucket list


Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups